Anyone ever have any medical phobias before?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Sailor_Saturn, Jun 1, 2011.

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  1. Sailor_Saturn

    Sailor_Saturn Active Member

    I was born on December 20th, 1989. Shortly after, because of a cyst that was growing on my brain, I had a shunt put in to prevent the fluid from the cyst from building up. Shortly after that, I had another surgery that had to do with the shunt, but I am not sure what that was for. This happened in Ontario at the time, where I was born. Since then, the cyst has covered the entire right side of my brain. Because I was just a baby, I went through many tests but did not recall many of them, however, my fear of doctors developed from that I am guessing due to all the medical procedures I went through. I began having seizures, and according to my mom, one of my first seizures when I was two years old, in 1992. I remember that one because I was watching an episode of Barney & Friends when it happened, and after being told by my mother that she thinks my first seizure happened when I was just two years old, I looked up the episode since I recalled something happening to me during it. I was living in North River,NL at the time and the episode had just aired in 1992 according to numerous sources. I had a few seizures since I was two years old, my last seizure being on November 15th, 2008. Since my experience at the hospital I was born at I had a severe fear of doctors, however I did not come to acknowledge this until recently, in January 2008. Since I had only a few grand mal seizures in my life, I was only treated for them in 1997 after seeing a pediatrics neurologist for many years, he finally decided to put me on anti-seizure medication that year but that stopped in the fall of 1998, since according to him, I was no longer having anymore grand mal seizures. In 2002, I had an MRI done and it was discovered that the shunt was disconnected from my brain, but because it was not causing me any problems, the pediatrics neurologist decided to not do anything about it and just decided to allow the pediatrics neurosurgeon, keep an eye on it and if anything came up he would speak about it. He never spoke about anything, and I continued to see the pediatrics neurologist until May 2007. I turned 18 in December 2007 so I was no longer eligible to see the pediatrics neurologist since I was now an adult. On November 15th, 2008 I had a grand mal seizure and was referred to an adult neurologist who put me on Lamotrigine in January 2009, an anti-seizure medication, which as of this date, I am still on. I first saw him in December 2008 and have been seeing him ever since. I told him about the overwhelming senses of fear I kept getting, and he said they were not anxiety attacks, they were seizures. After having a few tests done it was discovered that I was having seizures, I had an EEG in January 2009 where I had to stay up for 24 hours, and while I was asleep during the EEG, it was discovered that I was having seizures during the EEG. I have them while I am awake too, but sometimes when I have them while I am asleep, I feel tired the next day, and apparently this is due to the complex partial seizures I have while asleep.
    Before I was diagnosed with epilepsy in December 2008, I was misdiagnosed as having an anxiety disorder by the pediatrics neurologist due to all the bullying I was experiencing. The pediatrics neurologist put me on Zoloft but no matter how many times I told him it didn’t work, he just continued to keep me on it and never listened to me. Every time I would get this overwhelming sense of fear, no matter what I did, I could not control it, it would appear in the form of a quote (which I still can’t remember to this day, every time after the complex partial seizure the quote would disappear and I would not remember it, which according to the adult neurologist, was a part of having complex partial seizures). In December 2007 I decided to take matters into my own hands and went into this walk-in clinic with a guy who was then my boyfriend, since he had witnessed me having the so-called anxiety attacks before (I would get this overwhelming sense of fear no matter what was happening, and no matter what I did, I just couldn’t control it). The guy was no help, he just sat there and never said anything to the doctor that I was seeing, who I don’t recall the name of, and apparently the doctor isn’t working there anymore (he had a foreign name so I can’t remember it). I explained to the doctor all about the seizures but he just ignored that, instead he decided to examine my vitals and after telling my then boyfriend that if I get examined I wanted him to leave, but my then boyfriend didn’t. My boyfriend knew all about my phobias, including one particular one I had since I was young, which is called “cardiophobia”. My then boyfriend stayed the whole time, even after I told him about the signal I would give him to leave in case he forgot. The doctor that seen me at the time for the “anxiety attacks” tried to send me for a blood test, though I explained to him about my fear of needles, and he just ignored that completely, even though I made it clear about my needle phobia. In January 2008 I tried looking for the quote, although for some reason it always appeared to appear from Charlie Brown and for some reason the character Peppermint Patty was saying the quote, which I can’t remember, I looked at every single episode of Charlie Brown that I could find, but nothing stood out to me. I even looked at the episode of Barney & Friends that I first had the seizure when I was young while watching online just to see if anything stood out to me. Nothing stood out to me, so after I looked at that episode, I gave up.
    I still have a fear of doctors, and have been scheduled for an MRI in September 2011, and even though that maybe classified as “basic” that is a phobia I still have. I have re-developed my fear of basic doctor things, even to an extent cardiophobia, but I try to ignore it, including any basic phobia I may have. This is one of the few phobias that I control very well. Anytime I see a doctor I just ignore that particular phobia to the best of my ability, but it still does manage to appear, although no doctor other than the very few doctors I told after explaining about the whole situation because of my needle phobia and anything that has to do with doctors, including MRIs, since I do have claustrophobia and the noise that comes from the MRI machine does scare me, even though I tried to ignore the doctor I see wants to know about. I am currently seeing a counselor at the MUN counseling center and she is trying to help me with the big phobia I have, which is needle phobia, and I have had that since I was born, but no matter what I do I can’t get rid of my needle phobia.
  2. Lady E

    Lady E Well-Known Member

    I've become really intensely needle phobic to the point of I can't go to the doctor's. I understand your pain. I'm sorry you had to go through many medical obstacles when you were younger.
    Definitely keep going to the counselor it will help.
  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I have an intense phobia of hospitals as well as medications.. but more specifically Psychiatric medication.. I also have a big phobia of being placed back in a mental lock down facility.. And I have fears of being trapped..

    I think my fears have developed more due to all the issues I've gone through in the mental health care system. So I can see why you could be so paranoid. :( :hug:
  4. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    i also have a phobia of needles

    can't do them- even if my life depended on it
  5. Sailor_Saturn

    Sailor_Saturn Active Member

    Well apparently my MRI got moved to today. I was supposed to have it in September but I got the call yesterday evening that they could do it today, and of course my mom (even though I'm 21) agrees that I will do it today, though I would rather wait for September for certain reasons since I am such a god damn whimp.
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