Since I would never commit suicide for fear of going to hell in addition to destroying my family, most nights when I cannot sleep, and there are many, I pray that I will die. I mean, seriously as much as I love my family and I have it all, I hate the way I am ‘living’...I swear if I got a disease I wouldn’t even treat it. My autoimmune disease is already killing me in some ways, just not fast enough. Anyone else just waiting for a natural end....
Anyone ever pray to die?
- Thread starter Hopeiseverything
- Start date
i have no reason to truly feel the way i really feel, which is yes i wish to die one way or another after whether it be natural or suicide death is just an end, its just a matter of time rather than of morals. well more of in my case i have left around dare i say 50 - 75% self hate. the only problem is i'm one of those ppl who remember every single damn thing they did wrong which constantly haunts my conscience+my paranoia + adhd+ and may be borderline psychosis. if it wasn't for these 4 i rlly wouldn't wish to die.
I prayed to die more times than I would care to count, I would cry, and beg for god to just take my soul.
Though I know we r each destined to die at a specific place and time, I just hoped prayers would speed it up.
I have been doing this since I was 13.
It's as been 5 years so far.
I find it somewhat.. reliving
Prayers are our way of talking to god, and that is always reliving.
I am sorry u had it this hard.
Prayers.
Though I know we r each destined to die at a specific place and time, I just hoped prayers would speed it up.
I have been doing this since I was 13.
It's as been 5 years so far.
I find it somewhat.. reliving
Prayers are our way of talking to god, and that is always reliving.
I am sorry u had it this hard.
Prayers.
Yes, I have bouts of time where I will pray for death. I use to actively try 6 years ago. The last attempt was the day my Mom died. Lost my best friend, the only person that loved me, the person that believed in me and my purpose, all in one day. It has been a year and a half.
I pray with severe conviction but it never has worked for this prayer. I just wait for life to pass. It fustrates me that I have to wait. I do not even know how long I wait.
People confuse my "accomplishments"/ "go getter" nature. I am not going after a career to make a difference, to make my best life, mold a magnificent future. I got off Long term disability leave so that I can afford a place to live (eventually) and will not be a burden on people or government to pay for clothing, shelter and food. I am mitigating the damage. I am.not enjoying any of it.
I pray with severe conviction but it never has worked for this prayer. I just wait for life to pass. It fustrates me that I have to wait. I do not even know how long I wait.
People confuse my "accomplishments"/ "go getter" nature. I am not going after a career to make a difference, to make my best life, mold a magnificent future. I got off Long term disability leave so that I can afford a place to live (eventually) and will not be a burden on people or government to pay for clothing, shelter and food. I am mitigating the damage. I am.not enjoying any of it.