A lot of times, I look in the mirror and I think I look ok or even pretty good. But at times, I think I look ugly. I am over 350 pounds (159 kilograms), and not only that, but I feel like I am undisirable. I once was 180 pounds (81 kg) and was pretty handsome, but I still felt ugly and fat. I never had a girlfriend, and I was very seltered growing up. My aunt is very conservative, and I couldn't do things that other kids my age did. My mom thinks that cause her and my aunt (her sister) are very religious (Devout Christians) that I am being rebellious by being an atheist. But believe it or not, I use to be VERY religious at one time. I knew every book in the bible by order, knew every song at bible school, and thought that ppl who were atheist were devil-worshippers. In other words 5 years ago, ppl would say I am the LAST person to be an atheist. But I saw that god wasn't there for me when I was down, I felt that believing in god was a waste, and I saw no proof of his existance, so on March 1, 2008. I converted to atheism. I am SO sorry for getting off track, I tend to do that. But anyways, I felt that being obese is a very bad thing to be. My mom is overweight and my aunt is very obese. I hate to look in the mirror, and I feel that I will never get a girlfriend. Sorry for making this sound like a rant, but do anyone feel that they are undesirable?