Anyone experienced this feeling?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Atheist Demon, Mar 1, 2009.

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  1. Atheist Demon

    Atheist Demon Account Closed

    A lot of times, I look in the mirror and I think I look ok or even pretty good. But at times, I think I look ugly. I am over 350 pounds (159 kilograms), and not only that, but I feel like I am undisirable. I once was 180 pounds (81 kg) and was pretty handsome, but I still felt ugly and fat. I never had a girlfriend, and I was very seltered growing up. My aunt is very conservative, and I couldn't do things that other kids my age did. My mom thinks that cause her and my aunt (her sister) are very religious (Devout Christians) that I am being rebellious by being an atheist. But believe it or not, I use to be VERY religious at one time. I knew every book in the bible by order, knew every song at bible school, and thought that ppl who were atheist were devil-worshippers. In other words 5 years ago, ppl would say I am the LAST person to be an atheist. But I saw that god wasn't there for me when I was down, I felt that believing in god was a waste, and I saw no proof of his existance, so on March 1, 2008. I converted to atheism.

    I am SO sorry for getting off track, I tend to do that. But anyways, I felt that being obese is a very bad thing to be. My mom is overweight and my aunt is very obese. I hate to look in the mirror, and I feel that I will never get a girlfriend.

    Sorry for making this sound like a rant, but do anyone feel that they are undesirable?
     
  2. Alais

    Alais Well-Known Member

    Yeah, actually I do. I weigh about 170 pounds (I've gone down from 205) but despite that, I still feel really fat. I had gotten down to 140, but have gone back up. I'm afraid I'll gain it all back and then some. When I was a teen I weighed 109. I'm only 5 foot 3 inches tall. I think I'm extremely fat and very undesirable. I think I might go back on my diet where I only eat one meal every third day. I'd like to get down to 95 pounds. Somehow I have a feeling I will still see myself as undesirable and soooo not sexy, no matter what my weight is. Still want to get down to the 95 pounds, though.
     
  3. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Hi Atheist.

    There's plenty of times I feel unbelievably unattractive. I don't think you should be too uncomfortable about your body. It's who you are right now. Your inner beauty - confidence, friendliness, and enthusiasm - will be what grabs a girlfriend. But you may want to think about getting to a healthier weight--for the sole purpose of your health!

    I often feel ugly - from my facial structure, to my teeth, to my weight, to my voice, to my fingers ....:laugh: really anything that can bother me does. Just be healthy, man.

    And good luck! :)

    James, equally paranoid.
     
  4. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    well you can always lose weight, i promise i would trade you my problem for yours, I am physiologically undiserable at this point, there is no way around it, fat people are unnatractive, however you can always lose weight, I cant get back what I lost
     
  5. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    That's not true. By media standards, yes. But there's plenty of people who like plenty of things. Goodness, Wasted, haven't you explored the internet? :laugh:. Don't you remember Marlon Brando, and that guy that was in Citizen Kane...you know the really funny large guy? Alfred Hitchcock was large too.

    Besides the majority of guys get laid because of their personalities - most guys don't look anything like movie actors...most movie actors don't look anything like they do in the movies.
     
  6. Atheist Demon

    Atheist Demon Account Closed

    @Wasted: I got more problems than that. I have health problems, and every day I live in fear. But we all got something. I just hope that you and I and everyone here overcome our problems.
     
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I also am 100 lbs. over weight..I don't let it get me down. I really don't give a damn what others think of the way I look.. I am trying to loose that 100 lbs due to health problems..To top it off my doctor has told me I am very close to becoming diabetic on top of all my other problems.. As far as looking for another woman to be in my life, I don't worry about that so much anymore because I have joined the over 50 club a couple of years ago and quite frankly have just given up trying because I have been burnt 1 too many times and had my heart trampled in the dirt...
     
  8. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    I totally feel similar to you in that I've always felt ugly. I've always been overweight and to top it off I have a lazy eye which makes me feel that much more undesirable. It was hardest as a kid I think as I had to wear this eye patch. I was a fat little kid in glasses with an eye patch and I think that's when the last of my self-esteem vanished. I guess what I'm saying is I feel your pain. I'm 34 never had a relationship and I feel it's cause I'm ugly as sin and know that nobody could ever love me.

    So yes I feel undesirable every day and yet some how I carry on....
     
  9. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I am a bit overweight and really should start excercising to lose it. I used to be skinny many years ago but its strange because I've been a couch potato my whole life and ate the same amount of food. Though since I gained weight maybe a couple of years ago, its been stable, never risen or dropped.

    I don't think I am unattractive physically, but instead am very unattractive on the inside. I feel (or know) that I am the most boring person on the planet, I've been extremely sheltered and never gone out to thinks like clubs and parties and experienced many things other people my age have.

    My life has been very boring and empty (I feel so embarrassed by it that I don't even want to elaborate on it! :sad:) Due to this, I also have an extreme inferiority complex, so I don't even try looking for friends or a girlfriend. But I should at least try before throwing in the towel shouldn't I? I guess I am my own worst enemy.
     
  10. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    God has got nothing to do with your weight problem. Losing weight is something that you can do something about without the help from the above. People blame God for everything but there are things that we bring onto ourselves and then we blame god for not answering to our prayers. Human beings are visual creatures. Looks is normally the first point of attraction. You dont have to look handsome to attract member of the opposite sex. All you have to do is to lose some weight and eventually you'll meet someone.
     
  11. Atheist Demon

    Atheist Demon Account Closed

    That is how it is with me, I haven't went to any parties or did anything socially. I also understand what you mean about feeling embarrassed about it. On another forum I go to, I am scared to tell everyone that I have no life, in fact, I feel bad about mentioning it here. But at least we are not alone.

    I don't 'blame' god, I just see that he can not exist cause of no proof, and I just don't feel that there is a higher power.
     
  12. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    despite being seen so very underweight i can seriously relate. i hate what i see in the mirror. used to not go out because of it because i didnt want people to see how disgusting and horrible i look. and i felt, and do feel so fat, and i think a lot of the time people see this horrible fat disgusting person and are commenting and thinking exactly that.
     
  13. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member


    That is the wonderful thing about this forum, that you are NEVER alone here. You will almost certainly find someone here who is going through just about the same if not the same things you are and can totally relate with you unlike your family, friends, etc. who probably can't relate with what your going through and aren't much of a help.

    I've seen there are at least 5 people here just like me, that are very sheltered, social anxiety, inferiority complex, love video games and other nerdy things, etc etc. but I just can't bring myself to open up and talk to people here. I've been on this forum for a long long long time but haven't made any contacts nor friends, at least you are doing that Atheist_Demon and its a good thing to at least have online friends who totally understand you. I don't know why I can't do that!

    I know its understandable if I can't open up to my parents since they can't relate with depression and thoughts of suicide but I should at least be able to open up to people here just like me, like you for example. I wish I could open up or else I'll never ever get better and rid of my depression. Maybe my depression is subconsciously telling me not to even try and do anything, like talk to people here to help me out and give me support. :sad::sad::sad:
     
  14. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    I have BDD with my face. I'm very happy with my body...& sometimes I think my face is handsome. But then I'll see myself on a crappy angle/bad lighting & feel ugly until I see a good picture/look in a 'good' mirror
     
  15. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    everyday.
    i'll have moments where i think i dont look half bad. but in general i hate body/face.
    i dont know how to get around it or feel better, as i am not comparing myself to the media expectations, cause most of it is air brushed. but just me personally i dont like the way i am. dont know if that makes sense to anyone.
     
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