Well, for me, I guess it helps to meet another or more people....
I have never thought about suicide until a month or two ago. Thought it is the easy way out......I know people, especially my wife and my family will be hurt, but they will be hurt for a period of time only, then life goes on.
I made a mistake...one biggest mistake in my life......and the result, my wife is going through this toughest period of time. I am dealing with legal issue, money, and some other things that I should keep it to myself. And the hardest part of all, is everyday I have to look at my wife's face, and thinking that 'this is all my fault'.....just hurts me so much. When I married her, i wanted to make her happy, but I am not doing my job....instead, i got myself into trouble for the first time in my life, and now she is dealing with it too.
The past few months have been like hell.....and in a few months, I am going to have my second court appearance...and I don't know what is going to happen to me. No no...I didnt kill anyone or anything like that.....I really don't care what happens to me anymore.......I just want this feeling to go away, and imagining my wife's sad face everyday just hurts me even more. I know I know, if I kill myself, she will have a sad face too...but eventually she and others will move on. And besides, she could use the money from my life insurance as well.
Every time I drive to and from work.....i wish that i would get into a big accident. Everytime I pass by tall building, I imagine going to the top floor and fly down......
Probably my problem doesn't seem as big as others.........i always wonder where would someone who kill him/herself go after they die.
thanks