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Anyone have a partner who is depressed? I'd love some support!

Hi there,

I was wondering if there is anyone out there who is in a relationship with someone who suffers quite serious depression? I'd love to meet some people to chat with and see if we could support one another when our partners are having a 'down' phase.

My boyfriend and I live an hour and a half apart from one another, and all is great, other than he has bi-polar and self harms, and I have 'clinical' depression (with bi-polar aspects, but they tend to like all 'diagnosis' to fit one box, I find) and I also self harm. Contrary to popular belief, it's actually great being with someone who actually understands it and does not think I'm insane.

However, when my boyfriend spirals down, he *really* spirals down, and although I understand his need to do so I find it massively difficult to cope sometimes (now is one of those times) and I find myself vanishing into the pit of doom also because I worry so desperately about him.

Does anyone else have the same thing going on in their life? I worry so terribly that he is going to hurt himself or kill himself. Because he can't really be in touch when he's feeling so sad, I spend all my time fretting about him and then I get ill myself - unless I've been coping *really* well with things previously when I can sometimes hold it together. This time, however, is not a 'hold it together' time.

Sorry to go on, but any advice/support/anything anyone can say to me right now would be good!

Many thanks,
hey, sorry that you are going through this

I think it is good to support someone else, but if you are struggling too it's important for you to also take care of yourself. If things get to be too much for you, maybe try to get away for a while, or break things off

Hopefully you can direct him to help, let him know that you care about him but that you are struggling too and that sometimes it is more than you can handle

I have a bi-polar friend, and it seems like she has the most trouble when she either goes off meds or starts using drugs. I think that lithium in particular is important
oh, and sorry I didn't reply sooner. I usually spend most of my time in the sf and crisis forums, never saw your thread till now

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