Anyone here unable to work due to mental health?

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#1
As lazy as it sounds, I was the absolute happiest I've ever been while receiving benefits and not working. I am massively self conscious with severely low self esteem and I do not do well with mistakes, never mind total failure. However bad it sounds, I've found a lot of the jobs I've done completely crippling. The only time I was ever happy in work was when I was a content writer. I got on with everyone I worked with and I've never had a job like that since and I doubt I ever will again. At the moment I'm stuck in a job I hate, I've lost half a stone in a month and I've never felt so hateful towards myself because of the countless mistakes I've made. I just want it all to stop. Anyone else been in a similar situation?
 

BarryW

SF Supporter
#2
Yes, I feel I am in a similar situation or mindset right now. I have been unemployed about a year and a half (not receiving any benefits). I try to make myself look for and apply to jobs, but it's very slow because I tell myself I will most likely hate a new job just like I hated most of the old ones. I have been investigating other career paths (i.e. throw away my previous degree) for 5 or 6 years now but haven't been able to settle on a new path.

It's tough being in a job you hate -- and jobs are so easy to hate. I think most people hate their job, and I don't know how they live like that. Maybe some other forum folks will be able to chime in there.

What makes you think you would not be able to get work as a content writer again? Or do you mean you could do that, but feel your coworkers would be no good?
 

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#3
I can relate to that, I also look cor other jobs and just visualise how they could be damaging to me. Do you also struggle with finding a career path?

I honestly don't know how people do it, maybe they're stronger than me or maybe 'normal' people don't think like I do.

I mean it's so difficult to find a content writer job, especially since I don't have a degree
 

BarryW

SF Supporter
#4
I thought I had a career path, but after working that path for 10-15 years I began to heavily doubt it. I have other interests but perhaps too many to decide on one. At the same time, all the paths that interest me are also unappealing in some way. So I would say yes I struggle with finding a career path.

For content writing, have you considered or looked into freelance work? I have run across multiple sites that have work posted for those categories. And I doubt all of the sites care about or verify your degree.
 

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#5
Wow that's really impressive to stick at something for so long!

I've looked into it but I'm just so exhausted all the time that I dont make time to be productive. I've put in a request at work to go back to a previous role that I was okay with and my managers have accepted but it's taking months to find my replacement and I feel like I need out now
 

BarryW

SF Supporter
#6
Thanks. The work itself was not what I mostly disliked, but the companies' purposes I felt were lacking. At some point, 90% of companies or organizations boil down to, you are doing this work so that the CEO can buy another boat. Or maybe it's just me that feels that way.

I have totally been in that spot of waiting for the replacement. At one company I said I would wait to quit til they found a replacement and it took half a year or more. Lesson learned... I hope that they can find a replacement for you soon so that you feel less obligated to stick around.
 

Aurelia

πŸ”₯ A Fire Inside πŸ”₯
SF Supporter
#8
Like you said, the key is finding a job that you enjoy and can handle. Every other job will feel absolutely miserable. I've tried working jobs I hate, and didn't last more than a few months each time. It's not laziness, it's just that it has so much negative effect on your psyche that it eventually becomes too difficult to take. Those of us with mental illnesses can't just work any job and be okay.
 

cymbele

SF Supporter
#9
My employment history looks like crap because I get into a job; feel overstressed and unhappy for the way I am treated, and leave. A lot of times I have been laid off and not been too unhappy because I was miserable. But a mortgage and other financial responsibilities (health insurance for the major one - I am in a state where health insurance is all private) keep me working. Right now the work is easy, and the co-workers treat me ok so I am just coasting.
 

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#10
Thanks. The work itself was not what I mostly disliked, but the companies' purposes I felt were lacking. At some point, 90% of companies or organizations boil down to, you are doing this work so that the CEO can buy another boat. Or maybe it's just me that feels that way.

I have totally been in that spot of waiting for the replacement. At one company I said I would wait to quit til they found a replacement and it took half a year or more. Lesson learned... I hope that they can find a replacement for you soon so that you feel less obligated to stick around.
Thank you for your support, I hope I get out soon too!
 

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#11
Yes, but I don't think anyone else would see it that way. They'd just chalk it up to laziness and go back to having sex with their partner/studying/ listening to pop-music/ getting excited for cringy marvel movies or whatever these normies are doing.
My best friend is the only one who understands, everyone else is like you say, normal.
 

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#12
Like you said, the key is finding a job that you enjoy and can handle. Every other job will feel absolutely miserable. I've tried working jobs I hate, and didn't last more than a few months each time. It's not laziness, it's just that it has so much negative effect on your psyche that it eventually becomes too difficult to take. Those of us with mental illnesses can't just work any job and be okay.
Thank you for your reply, it's so comforting to see that I'm not alone
 

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#13
My employment history looks like crap because I get into a job; feel overstressed and unhappy for the way I am treated, and leave. A lot of times I have been laid off and not been too unhappy because I was miserable. But a mortgage and other financial responsibilities (health insurance for the major one - I am in a state where health insurance is all private) keep me working. Right now the work is easy, and the co-workers treat me ok so I am just coasting.
I'm glad you're doing okay! Yeah I can't just leave my job atm either because of rent etc. I have left many jobs in the past when I lived with my parents though
 

neutralbuoyancy

stuck in place yet again
#14
replying to the tile; my mental health is in utter shattered pieces right its like every passing minute is being drepressed and tempting n intrusive suicidal thoughts i cant even do any thing i was good anymore i cant even barely type right rn
 

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#16
replying to the tile; my mental health is in utter shattered pieces right its like every passing minute is being drepressed and tempting n intrusive suicidal thoughts i cant even do any thing i was good anymore i cant even barely type right rn
I hope you're doing better now! I know the feelings
 

Innocent Forever

πŸ’πŸ₯œπŸŒ
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#17
As lazy as it sounds, I was the absolute happiest I've ever been while receiving benefits and not working. I am massively self conscious with severely low self esteem and I do not do well with mistakes, never mind total failure. However bad it sounds, I've found a lot of the jobs I've done completely crippling. The only time I was ever happy in work was when I was a content writer. I got on with everyone I worked with and I've never had a job like that since and I doubt I ever will again. At the moment I'm stuck in a job I hate, I've lost half a stone in a month and I've never felt so hateful towards myself because of the countless mistakes I've made. I just want it all to stop. Anyone else been in a similar situation?
I'm working at the moment and seriously thinking about asking my GP for advice. We're in quarantine and the last week I've finally been able to slow down. I can't think about going back to work. And I love my job. It's just a pressure that is too much. You're not being lazy.
 

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