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Anyone just accept that this is the way they will remain?

#1
Has anyone just accepted that this feeling of not wanting to be here but staying for the sake of your family in addition to fear of death is the way they will remain until natural death occurs? I mean I will keep trying medications, therapy, etc.....but have come to the realization that since I don’t have the guts nor do I want to embarrass, humiliate, devastate my family, go to hell, etc....I will stay.
Thoughts.....
 
#2
yeah, well similar at least. I'm not actively suicidal very often, but I have accepted that ultimately I will always go back to feeling suicidal sooner or later and that theres certain things I'll never have, things that will always hurt, problems that will never be resolved, etc. It absolutely tears me apart, but I dont have the guts to end myself so I feel I'm just trapped forever. Sorry for your pain
 

Nick the Fantastical Duck

☆☆Ducking Fantastic ☆☆
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#3
It's not entirely the same for me. I have accepted some things are what they are, and it's not likely they will change. They could change, and I'm not counting it out entirely, but it's not likely. Instead of focusing on my suicidal ideation being gone, I've been focusing on how do I deal with it. What things can I do to keep myself safe? What things can I do to keep my thoughts from spiraling further? Maybe some day those thoughts won't be there anymore. I do now have moments of true joy, happiness, wonder. I had moments of okay before, but I wouldn't call it joy. All I'm trying to say is, don't give up the hope that you can have that.
 
#4
yeah, well similar at least. I'm not actively suicidal very often, but I have accepted that ultimately I will always go back to feeling suicidal sooner or later and that theres certain things I'll never have, things that will always hurt, problems that will never be resolved, etc. It absolutely tears me apart, but I dont have the guts to end myself so I feel I'm just trapped forever. Sorry for your pain
Sorry for your pain also. I don’t have the guts either so realistically it is out of the question. Maybe just accepting that we are ‘trapped’ will get us through. One person f..... up my life....it sucks. My best to you,
 
#5
It's not entirely the same for me. I have accepted some things are what they are, and it's not likely they will change. They could change, and I'm not counting it out entirely, but it's not likely. Instead of focusing on my suicidal ideation being gone, I've been focusing on how do I deal with it. What things can I do to keep myself safe? What things can I do to keep my thoughts from spiraling further? Maybe some day those thoughts won't be there anymore. I do now have moments of true joy, happiness, wonder. I had moments of okay before, but I wouldn't call it joy. All I'm trying to say is, don't give up the hope that you can have that.
Thanks Nick. I give it my all every day but boy is it difficult especially when you are not used to being like this. I was a very vibrant person until someone sucked the life out of me. I just cannot forgive myself for some things I have done to others. working on this in therapy. Honestly, if I got hit by a bus it would be a relief. I wish you the best......
 

Winslow

Antiquitie's Friend
SF Supporter
#6
Has anyone just accepted that this feeling of not wanting to be here but staying for the sake of your family in addition to fear of death is the way they will remain until natural death occurs? I mean I will keep trying medications, therapy, etc.....but have come to the realization that since I don’t have the guts nor do I want to embarrass, humiliate, devastate my family, go to hell, etc....I will stay.
Thoughts.....
Good question. The way I would answer your question is by saying that even the Normal people get hurt too and/or cannot get out of a particular situation-- but they tolerate and endure. So as far as tolerance and endurance, there's No difference between normal people and suicidal people.
 
#7
Good question. The way I would answer your question is by saying that even the Normal people get hurt too and/or cannot get out of a particular situation-- but they tolerate and endure. So as far as tolerance and endurance, there's No difference between normal people and suicidal people.
Oh but there is a difference if they tolerate and endure without suicidal thoughts. Suicidal thoughts do not occur in a ‘normal’ mind...
 
#8
Sorry for your pain also. I don’t have the guts either so realistically it is out of the question. Maybe just accepting that we are ‘trapped’ will get us through. One person f..... up my life....it sucks. My best to you,
thank you. I've had people fuck me up for a long time too, and it took me years to recover, I feel your pain (or at least to some extent, I know our situations are unlikely totally the same). I do sometimes try to accept being trapped and just trying to make the most of what I'm trapped with but its really hard at times. Reminds me of the film Room if you've seen it, being trapped in a situation but still trying to make the most of whatever is around you anyway even though on the whole the situation is shitty

best wishes to you too
 

neutralbuoyancy

stuck in place yet again
#9
Has anyone just accepted that this feeling of not wanting to be here but staying for the sake of your family in addition to fear of death is the way they will remain until natural death occurs? I mean I will keep trying medications, therapy, etc.....but have come to the realization that since I don’t have the guts nor do I want to embarrass, humiliate, devastate my family, go to hell, etc....I will stay.
Thoughts.....
yes it is 100% exactly the way i feel
 

EllieMay

Well-Known Member
#10
yeah, well similar at least. I'm not actively suicidal very often, but I have accepted that ultimately I will always go back to feeling suicidal sooner or later and that theres certain things I'll never have, things that will always hurt, problems that will never be resolved, etc. It absolutely tears me apart, but I dont have the guts to end myself so I feel I'm just trapped forever. Sorry for your pain
I feel like this too...trapped in the constant mental torment. Nothing has really helped despite trying many things over the years. When the fear and thoughts scream at me I have to think of my son, I can never leave him. The loss of a proper life and the way mental illness destroys everything makes me sad not just for me but everyone going through this. Guess I will carry on cleaning as this helps me cope. I am thinking of you and wish there was a magic fix xx
 
#11
I feel like this too...trapped in the constant mental torment. Nothing has really helped despite trying many things over the years. When the fear and thoughts scream at me I have to think of my son, I can never leave him. The loss of a proper life and the way mental illness destroys everything makes me sad not just for me but everyone going through this. Guess I will carry on cleaning as this helps me cope. I am thinking of you and wish there was a magic fix xx
I hear you. At least you clean....I am not motivated to do anything. I cannot leave my husband or children either. It would destroy them. I just do not know if I can keep doing this. The only medication that helps me is a benzo....cannot take those forever.
May I ask, do you take anything?
 
#12
I feel like this too...trapped in the constant mental torment. Nothing has really helped despite trying many things over the years. When the fear and thoughts scream at me I have to think of my son, I can never leave him. The loss of a proper life and the way mental illness destroys everything makes me sad not just for me but everyone going through this. Guess I will carry on cleaning as this helps me cope. I am thinking of you and wish there was a magic fix xx
I know what you mean, it makes me sad too knowing that so many deal with this pain, its not fair and I wish mental illness and mental pain didn't exist. I'm glad cleaning helps you cope, I find it hard to get motivated when I feel so down but if I can get motivated I do find I feel a bit better after cleaning, feels good to be productive and you feel a bit better psychologically if your environment is clean and tidy. thank you, your kind words help me somewhat, I appreciate them a lot. I wish so too, very much :( xx
 

EllieMay

Well-Known Member
#13
I hear you. At least you clean....I am not motivated to do anything. I cannot leave my husband or children either. It would destroy them. I just do not know if I can keep doing this. The only medication that helps me is a benzo....cannot take those forever.
May I ask, do you take anything?
I do take meds but getting them reviewed. I have tried so many over the years and very disillusioned now. Sometimes I think they create more problems.
 

Lekatt

Love Cats Love All
SF Supporter
#14
There may be an attempt to accept the status quo as a normal. But life will change anyway. Everything changes in time, and you will also whether you recognize it or not. I think it best to embrace change and constantly look for new ideas and ways to improve your life style. New discoveries are happening on a daily basis. It is huge how much life has changed in my lifetime. No cells, no TV, no computers, no microwaves, etc., when I was young. Some one may discover a cure for mental illness tomorrow. There is no law stating its impossible. There is always hope. There is always tomorrow. Never give up trying something new.
 

EllieMay

Well-Known Member
#15
I know what you mean, it makes me sad too knowing that so many deal with this pain, its not fair and I wish mental illness and mental pain didn't exist. I'm glad cleaning helps you cope, I find it hard to get motivated when I feel so down but if I can get motivated I do find I feel a bit better after cleaning, feels good to be productive and you feel a bit better psychologically if your environment is clean and tidy. thank you, your kind words help me somewhat, I appreciate them a lot. I wish so too, very much :( xx
You are welcome, it helps to share and helps to ease the isolation this all creates. I keep hoping to find some relief but to be honest I have kind of accepted this may be my lot and have to live wirh it though I don't really want to
 
#17
You are welcome, it helps to share and helps to ease the isolation this all creates. I keep hoping to find some relief but to be honest I have kind of accepted this may be my lot and have to live wirh it though I don't really want to
it does for sure. I'm incredibly isolated at the moment as the only person I'm close to who usually supports me and cheers me up and is company isn't talking to me (having space/dealing with their own stuff) so its been very hard to go from having daily conversations that make me smile to nothing for months. I hope you can find relief, nothing's impossible. xx
 

EllieMay

Well-Known Member
#18
it does for sure. I'm incredibly isolated at the moment as the only person I'm close to who usually supports me and cheers me up and is company isn't talking to me (having space/dealing with their own stuff) so its been very hard to go from having daily conversations that make me smile to nothing for months. I hope you can find relief, nothing's impossible. xx
I am so sorry to hear that. It is so important to feel connected. I hope you will be in touch with them again very soon . The people on here are so lovely, it does help xx
 
#19
I am so sorry to hear that. It is so important to feel connected. I hope you will be in touch with them again very soon . The people on here are so lovely, it does help xx
it really is, means the world to me. sadly some people cant seem to understand that and have made me feel worse, making out I should be fine on my own or not need other people/support but I do need people and I know really there's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure a lot of people would fall apart if they were pretty alone in the first place and the only person they really had suddenly didnt feel like talking for months yet some think I'm overreacting with being upset/depressed. It's so frustrating, but anyway, I'm glad some people, like you, understand :) thanks so much ♥ yes I hope we can go back to talking sooner rather than later, my mental health has suffered so much from it. I am grateful for people here though, it helps me and its nice to have support and understanding. x
 

EllieMay

Well-Known Member
#20
it really is, means the world to me. sadly some people cant seem to understand that and have made me feel worse, making out I should be fine on my own or not need other people/support but I do need people and I know really there's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure a lot of people would fall apart if they were pretty alone in the first place and the only person they really had suddenly didnt feel like talking for months yet some think I'm overreacting with being upset/depressed. It's so frustrating, but anyway, I'm glad some people, like you, understand :) thanks so much ♥ yes I hope we can go back to talking sooner rather than later, my mental health has suffered so much from it. I am grateful for people here though, it helps me and its nice to have support and understanding. x
You are welcome, I think unless people experience mental health issues they cannot understand how desperate people feel and how important it is to feel connected. We are fragile beings and people can really have an impact on us in both positive and negative ways. I wish I didn't give people such power over me, I know it's because my self esteem is so low that this happens. I never feel good inside despite trying hard xx
 

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