I was recently forced out of work due to my country (Italy) implementing a strict covid vaccine mandate on all workers. There is no job in the whole country you can do without proof of vaccination or taking a covid test every 2 days. Unless you find a remote position which is very hard to find here. For various reasons that I don't really wanna get into I cannot bring myself to get the vaccine, but my reasons are not enough to be granted an exemption. The covid test option is not financially or psychologically sustainable to me so I had to rule that out too.
So I had my last day at work last Thursday and will be working remote for them until the end of the month to "at least help them out", like this is all and only my fault letting people down.
I've been harassed, bullied and called names for my choice both at work and outside and lost basically all of my friends over this.
And I'm frightened to even post this here because I know this is a very controversial topic and most people reading would hate me and think I deserve whatever comes my way. That I'm just unworthy of life if I cannot conform, that I'm some sort of terrorist and social burden and would deserve to die of covid and see all my loved ones die of covid because of me.
The pressure has been and is still so heavy I don't even know who to talk to anymore, what to say. I just listen to criticism and stay quiet.
I don't wanna make this about pro/no vax. I respect anyone's views and choices.
For the record I always complied with mask and social distancing and any other requirements, I keep to myself, avoid fragile/old people and social activities in general. I always disclose that I'm not vaccinated to anyone I meet or end up spending time with for whatever reason. So that if anyone feels uncomfortable I just leave. I'm never judging or expecting people to understand (or even listen to) me, I never try to convince people I am right. I don't even know if I am right at all.
Still I feel trapped, like a nightmare I cannot escape, like the walls are closing in and soon I won't even be allowed to exist. So I thought I would just go ahead and rid the world of this disgusting and unacceptable human being who is so socially awkward and unfit. Which would be a relief for so many other reasons too. Except, I feel guilty for the few people I would leave behind and that I know I would hurt badly.
It's so unfair that I don't even have the luxury to just leave in peace without any harm to others. Whichever choice I make, whatever I do, someone ends up hurting.
Is anyone going through something like this?
Is there anyone from Italy who can relate to this huge amount of pressure we are under?
So I had my last day at work last Thursday and will be working remote for them until the end of the month to "at least help them out", like this is all and only my fault letting people down.
I've been harassed, bullied and called names for my choice both at work and outside and lost basically all of my friends over this.
And I'm frightened to even post this here because I know this is a very controversial topic and most people reading would hate me and think I deserve whatever comes my way. That I'm just unworthy of life if I cannot conform, that I'm some sort of terrorist and social burden and would deserve to die of covid and see all my loved ones die of covid because of me.
The pressure has been and is still so heavy I don't even know who to talk to anymore, what to say. I just listen to criticism and stay quiet.
I don't wanna make this about pro/no vax. I respect anyone's views and choices.
For the record I always complied with mask and social distancing and any other requirements, I keep to myself, avoid fragile/old people and social activities in general. I always disclose that I'm not vaccinated to anyone I meet or end up spending time with for whatever reason. So that if anyone feels uncomfortable I just leave. I'm never judging or expecting people to understand (or even listen to) me, I never try to convince people I am right. I don't even know if I am right at all.
Still I feel trapped, like a nightmare I cannot escape, like the walls are closing in and soon I won't even be allowed to exist. So I thought I would just go ahead and rid the world of this disgusting and unacceptable human being who is so socially awkward and unfit. Which would be a relief for so many other reasons too. Except, I feel guilty for the few people I would leave behind and that I know I would hurt badly.
It's so unfair that I don't even have the luxury to just leave in peace without any harm to others. Whichever choice I make, whatever I do, someone ends up hurting.
Is anyone going through something like this?
Is there anyone from Italy who can relate to this huge amount of pressure we are under?