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Anyone only here because of family

#1
My family would be devastated, humiliated, etc. if I killed myself. My husband would probably then harm himself, he would be embarrassed, everyone in our small town would know, etc.....thus I stay. Plus I am very fearful of death and going to hell....so what is the answer...a life of misery?
 

MosesY

Well-Known Member
#2
I know your pain. My life also is one of misery. I have found small things I enjoy to help balance out the misery. I drink a little bit, I vape some, I have a collection of stuff, and I have one friend. This makes life a little easier and yet my life is hell. I will not take my own life, I refuse to do that to my daughters.
 
#3
I had a perfect life...trauma stole it. Benzos are my answer...just need to convince my dr. Trying to avoid the psych ward. I also refuse to hurt my family but this is living hell....literally.
 

GFS

Well-Known Member
#4
If I'd go it would be devastating for my family. I don't think my mom would even survive it. Not to mention that it would really complicate things about my father. And some of my friends would be devastated as well.
So, yeah. We have to keep going for the sake of our families and our friends.

Finding things you love or loving things you already have, making new friends or cherishing people who already are in your life, especially your daughters, can be a big help.
 
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#5
Hi. I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I am trying to stay, at least in part, for my family. I know they would miss me if I killed myself. I'm also trying to hold on to the smaller pleasures in life and the possibilities on my future. You say you're trying to get benzos, I presume you've tried/are on SSRIs. SSRIs may still be able to work for you, you may just need a review of your prescription. I hope you can feel better soon. Sending hugs *hug10.
 

Sunspots

★☆ Comfortably Sunny☆★
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#6
I'm only here for my kids. I know it would devastate them if I were to kill myself and I'm not sure it's something they would ever recover from or forgive me for.

The rest of my family and friends, although it would make them sad for a while, they'd move on from it eventually.

So I'm here for the duration and if I'm stuck here I will try to make the most of it.
 
#8
My logical brain knows I have to stay for the family. But it’s my emotional brain which lets me down. It depends which one is dominant at the time. My daughter made me promise to stay and not leave her. So she knows how bad it is. But there are times when the emotional pain is so great that they don’t even factor in to the decision. Everything becomes too overwhelming and the need to escape is too great. That’s when I’m at my most dangerous. So yes, I stay for my kids and husband and I know the irreparable damage it would do. But I also know I’m not safe and taking my life is the only way I can see to achieve calm. It’s like having a tornado in your head and the only way to stop is to no longer exist. It’s the first thing I think when I wake up and the last thing I consider when I go to bed. I seem to evaluate my day every hour and decide whether it’s worth staying around for the next. The thought of suicide follows me everywhere I go and in everything I do and it’s exhausting.
 

Thauoy

Well-Known Member
#9
My family would be devastated, humiliated, etc. if I killed myself. My husband would probably then harm himself, he would be embarrassed, everyone in our small town would know, etc.....thus I stay. Plus I am very fearful of death and going to hell....so what is the answer...a life of misery?
Me same situation. The only difference I am male and single
 

Sleeper71

Well-Known Member
#11
I'm here for my son, that's about it....If not for him, I most likely would have exited stage left years ago..
This is my situation, exactly! I hate being alive but I couldn’t put my son through the pain my suicide would surely bring. Although this year, even this has been tested and at times almost not enough to keep me from ending it.
 

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