Im having such a bad day today. i cant handle even the smallest of things. iv self harmed twice today and im a mess. im really scared. really dont want to be here anymore. i want to be dead but im scared. what if it doesnt work? i cant handle being disfigured and fucked for the rest of my life. what if i end up brain damaged???? i have to stay alive coz no one else is gonna do it for me!!