anyone! please....need to talk

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Landlocked blues, Feb 25, 2010.

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  1. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    Im having such a bad day today. i cant handle even the smallest of things. iv self harmed twice today and im a mess. im really scared. really dont want to be here anymore. i want to be dead but im scared. what if it doesnt work? i cant handle being disfigured and fucked for the rest of my life. what if i end up brain damaged???? i have to stay alive coz no one else is gonna do it for me!!
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey your right it is not worth the trauma the after effects. I hope you can reach out to crisis line and just talk to someone. Sometime hearing a caring voice helps ease the pain. Keep talking to your friends here they can relate and understand your pain. I hear it and feel it as well i hope you can reach out to a councillor teacher religous person anyone just to talk okay take care
     
  3. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    thank you Violet for your kind words. im trying to stay strong. it just gets harder to do that everyday.
     
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    How are you doing now? Have things eased at all?

    Has anything happened to make today so bad for you?
     
  5. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    im sorry for not replying S. i was having such a bad day. ended up in A and E. nothing really triggered me that day. i just have either really great days or mostly really bad days. im triggered very easily. i cant even think what it might have been.
    I am feeling better now though thank you! :smile:
     
  6. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    have u got any time of support like counsellor, psyc etc?
    did u have to see a psyc in A and E the other day??
     
  7. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    yeah they made me see one the other day and now they visit me everyday to see how im doing. i think it might help. (hopefully) all i can do is hope!
     
  8. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you're feeling better :) Have you looked into any of the areas of support I suggested on your other thread? Also, have you been back to your GP to see if your appointment can get pushed through faster?


    ETA, just seen your reply. Is that the Crisis Team/Home Treatment Team? It's good you think they can help you :)
     
  9. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    that is good, i hope they can help!!
     
  10. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    yeah thank you. i have actually applied for college and am looking into some voluntry work to keep me busy the rest of the time. the course is in social work with children and adolescents so hopefully something in that field will come up :smile:
    the A nd E dept have requested me the home treatment team come to my home everyday until im ready to just see them once or twice a week and out of my home. they bring with them Psyciatrist to talk to me too. x
     
  11. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    ETA, just seen your reply. Is that the Crisis Team/Home Treatment Team? It's good you think they can help you :)[/QUOTE]

    yeah thats them :smile:
     
  12. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I sure hope they can help you through this :)
     
  13. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    im actually feeling pretty positive. it could all change tm tho :sad:
     
  14. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    That's great you'r efeeling positive. Try not to worry about what may or may not happen in the future because you will miss out on the positive feelings you are feeling. Maybe just try and focus on now, this instant. could you do something good with your positivity?
     
  15. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    i actually went out today for the first time in ages. it felt good to have the fresh air. went to the beach :smile:
     
  16. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Very nice :D I find the beach a very healing place. Did you have a nice time there?
     
  17. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    i actually did! :D we wlked along the pier and had bacon butties, lots of tea and fags too!
     
  18. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Very, very nice. Probably cold, but very nice nonetheless.

    Do you think maybe writing about today- a good day- so you can reread it back over when you have a bad day, might be something worth trying?
     
  19. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    i did that today :D its all done. everything i felt and why is on paper. i do keep a diary of my terrible days too. im hoping it helps with coming to terms with things in the long run x
     
  20. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Brilliant!
     
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