Anyone suicidal after cosmetic surgery?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by paul777, Jul 21, 2010.

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  1. paul777

    paul777 Well-Known Member

    Hi

    I had cosmetic surgery 6 years ago on my eyebrow (hair transplant) following a trauma scar.

    The area has been uncomfortable ever since :(

    I saw the surgeon recently and asked about having the transplant cut out and restitched. He said it would leave a nasty scar (it would). He dismissed the discomfort I am constantly in and just shook his head (I wrote and told him I am thinking of suicide).

    I got the impression he thinks I'm lying to have more surgery!

    This is deffinately not the case, I just don't see any other option. If the transplant skin is removed then I shouldn't feel it anymore right? I can't explain how it feels, but it is terrible. Can't concentrate, enjoy life, look to the future etc.

    I realise no one can probably relate to this, or give any suggestions, but I must share my distress.

    I wrote my note yesterday (for my mom) and it sounds so pathetic. Maybe I should not leave a note?

    I am very close to taking my life and have worked out how. At the same time I am young and want to live life so much.

    If nothing else maybe this might help others? Would you swap positions with me?

    P
     
  2. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Hi.

    Do you mean you had a skin graft?
     
  3. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    If the transplant skin is removed...you'll not have an eyebrow so obviously you have to choose between having two eyebrows with discomfort or one eyebrow and no discomfort.

    Did I understand correctly? I'm sorry but I'm a bit strung out so I can't concentrate as well at the moment.
     
  4. paul777

    paul777 Well-Known Member

    Hi Sapphire


    Thanks for replying.

    A skin graft yes. A strip of hair from the back of my head implanted in my eybrow. I thought it would be slight (it wasn't that bad before) but it is like 10 centre meters wide.

    There is still natural hair above it and below it. It is about 2/3 of my eyebrow (width), the first third is fine. If he removed it and stitched, the natural hairs may cover the scar partially.

    I couldn't deal with no hair there at all, no way. I don't think it will look much worse, but of course it is not like a bad haircut.

    The surgeon repeatedly said he couldn't do anymore for me, like he has done me a favour thus far :grr:

    I will send you a photo tomorrow if I can upload one. I can't understand why it feels so irritating. It may just be the blood supply to the skin inplanted? It's terrible though. I try to be positive and it beats me every time.

    I have read abit about adult stem cells. Maybe if they was inplanted some day the hairs might grow through better and the unnatrual/irritating feeling might sease?

    Seems alittle far fetched.

    Thanks again

    P
     
  5. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I'd be interested in seeing a photo of your problem. Stem cells are indeed something that I thought about, too but it's not something that's right around the corner. A lot of bald people are waiting for a cure for baldness using stem cells but it's not going to be real for another few years, I think. There's also a thing called an ECM which is out there now which is something that might be used after cutting out a scar/graft to 1) make it heal more/better 2) make it feel better in the sense that the ECM will avoid contraction in the resulting scar. If it's that, at least, which causes the uneasiness...

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I hope things can be fixed to a point that you can live with it. How did you get the damage anyway?
     
  6. paul777

    paul777 Well-Known Member

    Do you have a cosmetic type problem? "Stem cells are something I thought about".

    In 2002 I got punched outside a nightclub.

    The thing is it wasn't that bad. When I went swimming (used to do alot) or looked at the area in the shower, I could see a line through the eyebrow.

    Thats one of the worst things, I have made it worse, brought about my own destruction. I also blame the surgeon.

    I blame him because I visited him once and he cut it out (the scar).

    Then when I went for a review I asked about the hair insertion. Cancelled it once, then wrote to him asking for it to be done. Should not alarm bells have rang at this point? Ethics, non maleficence, duty of care?

    I asked him, "it wil not make it worse will it?" He said no, that was the clincher, if he said it might make it worse, or you may feel discomfort for the rest of your life, I would not have done it.

    P
     
  7. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    It would drive me crazy if I had to put up with that discomfort on my forehead. Your brain is right under the stitches, even though it's encased in a skull, that does not mean it's not very sensitive in that area.
    That discomfort alone will be reason for me to get surgery.
    About the appearance thing, you can find a cosmetic procedure that are developed for medical reasons where you can paint on the brows, and adjust the other brow to look like each other, without surgery.
    You don't have to transplant hair in that area.
    Since the brow is so close to the hair line, why don't you sweep some of your hair down your brow, like a style, using styling gel to set it.

    The surgeon should just work on getting you more comfortable in that area.
    Choose to fix the problem, not die.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 21, 2010
  8. paul777

    paul777 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for replying flowingriver

    It is good someone (you and Sapphire) aknowledge how major the discomfort, in such a place can be. I mean at least you show understanding.

    Sometimes when it does my head in the area gets so tense. Last week I had a whole day stressing out about it. My right eyebrow eventually lifted up (higher than the left) and there was two thick lines in my forehead. I have good days and bad like anyone, but at times like that, if I had a gun there is no way I would be typing now.

    My main G.P is understanding but can't really help. Other G.P's have completly brushed me off. One said "you will have to make the best of it" another said "feels like what" as if I'm imagining it.

    I did attempt suicide about 6 weeks after the surgey. When the doctor saw me in the morning he said "There must be underlying issues, I doubt a small thing like that could be the cause". There really isn't u.i. I was happy before and wanted to do so much with my life.

    I am 30 now and would like to meet someone and start a family. But I think to myself, my terror would be worse if there was others relying on me.
    Or would I be stronger knowing suicide would not be an option? At the moment it's just me. I know my family would be sad, but to think of going through another six years this way is not a good thought.

    I started a course which is only 2 1/2 days a week to get back into work. I have already missed 3 days out of 10 and don't feel like going tomorow. Concentrating, using a computer, being in an office, all are impede by the discomfort.

    The eyebrow tattoo thing wouldn't like right on a male. My hair used to be long, but it is short now and will not be long again, but thanks for the suggestion.

    Surgeons don't admit mistakes because they could be legally held to account I think? He just said it's not that striking, and shook his head and dismissed my discomfort when I asked about it. I am thinking of writting to ask for the transplant to be cut out but like I said am scared it will look terrible so it's catch 22.

    There is some high tech advancements in scar repair Ive been looking at online but the U.K doesn't seem to be advanced in this area.

    Thanks again

    P
     
  9. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    Hi, the kind of discomfort you have is like having something in your eyes and you can never take it out, no matter what you do. It will drive a person crazy, and take away your peace of mind.

    You got a point there about it being more a female thing to appply a cosmetic procedure, but it can be done in a masculine way, as some male actors do. Don't dismiss the idea, of growing your hair long in the front and applying gel and combing the hair over the scar area.

    You have to persist in getting attention to having a surgeon re-doing the area.
    No one should have to suffer like this.
     
  10. paul777

    paul777 Well-Known Member

    Got a reply from a cosmetic surgeon on a different forum

    Sapphire/ Flowingriver

    Got this reply from a cosmetic surgeon from 'look your best'. The people are really flaky on there but I guess I am in no position to judge?

    Anyway he seems genuine and I will pm a photo in a while I think, I often stay up late.

    Notice how he ignors the discomfort I told him about.

    My message to him included

    "The area afterwards was so uncomfortable. It has been six years and I am in constant discomfort. It also looks worse! I can't concentrate on anything and think about suicide all the time. I did attempt suicide once after the surgery because I felt (and still do) that my life is ruined. :(

    Recently I wrote to the surgeon and told him everything. I suggested having the transplant cut out as I am in constant discomfort."


    His answer

    Re: Eyebrow transplant

    I am sorry to here of your difficulties. I think there are a number of things you need to address. The first is your own perception of the cosmetic deformity and the second is whether this can be improved surgically. I would strongly advise you consulting with your GP and obtaining a referral to someone with experience in body image and its subsequent treatment. If you have seriously thought about suicide this may be something out of any surgeons experience and must be addressed first.
    It is difficult to advise you regarding surgery without seeing you or at least seeing a picture and you are welcome to pm me a picture. Regardless your GP needs to be aware of your difficulties and as this was due to trauma it may well be that you can gain another opinion on the NHS.


    What do you make of this?

    I don't really understand "as this was due to trauma it may well be that you can gain another opinion on the NHS."

    I think it's o.k to qoute the guy because the other forum is public. Hope thats o.k mod?

    P
     
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Re: Got a reply from a cosmetic surgeon on a different forum

    Hi Paul. There are always risks associated with any type of surgury. I once watched a show called 'plastic surgury gone wrong.' It was about all types of procedures that went wrong, like botched breast implants for example. I hope that your plastic surgeon can correct the problem with your eyebrow. If not, you can threaten to sue him and get some compensation.
     
  12. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    What about some medication that would take the feeling away. At least till you decide what you want to do. Im praying for you. Sorry this bothers you so much. But NEVER hurt yoursefl becasue of this. IM sure there is a solution.
     
  13. paul777

    paul777 Well-Known Member

    Dave N

    I know there is risks. The thing is I had one procedure from the surgeon and trusted him (foolishly).

    I have thought about suing but it has been six years and I doubt it would help me really.

    Marty

    I think I will ask my G.P about something to take away the discomfort. I have tryed putting on E45 and Eurcen but it doesn't help.

    I don't think the problem is dry skin, I think it is more serious.

    I will ask about steroids or cortison, anything. I doubt it though because my G.P is very good and if there is something I believe she would have perscribed it by now.

    I am thinking of going back on citalopram to help with the anxiety which it causes me.

    I don't want to really because my problem isn't phychological at the root if you know what I mean?

    I appreciate you praying for me.
     
  14. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Don't have much time at the moment but I'll reply later on.
     
  15. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Well, then personally I think your best option is to have the graft cut out again and have a new scar form. You could consider getting a bandage applied suring the healing which has an ECM (extracellular matrix) so that the amount of contraction is lessened if not eliminated and the scar will be more aethetically pleasing, so to speak. At some point in the future there may be a treatment available to people which can regenerate hair but I wouldn't wait for it if I were you. To use a cliché; life is too short.

    It's sad, what happened to you. Many such stories are to be told as many people have had these kind of experiences and worse ones, too. In a way, you're lucky to have ended up with "only" this as a punch in the face like that can have even worse consequences. But of course that doesn't make it any less sad than it is. It's saddening, let's face it. But we also have to face the fact that time can't be turned back and all there is...is today. And today must be lived to the fullest. And we can't let it slip away.

    And yes, doctors are not necessarily to be trusted. I heard an interview with a scientist who's doing research regarding stem cells. He said that contributing to finding a cure for cancer is a side effect of his work for him. It's not even the main reason he does his work! Can you believe that??

    Anyway, when I said "stem cells are also something I thought about" I was referring to me thinking of things that may help you.
     
  16. paul777

    paul777 Well-Known Member

    I agree

    Well, then personally I think your best option is to have the graft cut out again and have a new scar form. You could consider getting a bandage applied suring the healing which has an ECM (extracellular matrix) so that the amount of contraction is lessened if not eliminated and the scar will be more aethetically pleasing, so to speak. At some point in the future there may be a treatment available to people which can regenerate hair but I wouldn't wait for it if I were you. To use a cliché; life is too short.


    I agree Sapphire! I hadn't heard of ECM and got abit lost searching for it, but it sounds very promising. I deffinetly feel (gut feeling) that a new scar would be better, and I wouldn't be able to feel this dam transplant or have to trim the hairs.

    I hear what your saying and want to get on with things. I have been reading about Body dysmorphia and don't know if I have this?

    I honestly don't think so because the scar is real, and so is the discomfort. Body dismorphia is describing people who are imagining a problem, or exadgerating a small issue.

    I think my issue is at least medium (2/3 of eyebrow scar) and would be to most young people?

    You have helped me alot. :albert:

    Really appreciate it.
     
  17. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    lol No man, you don't have body dysmorphia. :) That's when people feel ugly even though they can be models. So that's totally psychological.

    And yes, most people would be bothered by this. I think there's nothing weird about you being bothered by it. Some people may tell you that it's silly to be bothered by it but these people would be bothered by it themselves if they were in your shoes, I think. :yes:

    Here's a video of the ECM being used to repair heart tissue:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQf8lX-E9dc

    It's got some footage in there of an operation. But it's explained very well at about 01:30 in the video so you could fast forward to that if you can't take seeing open heart surgery. Like me. :nerves: haha :)
     
  18. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Oops, I saw the footage of the operation is also there after 01:30. Sorry! lol :)
     
  19. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Wow, that's an unfortunate outcome for you! Constant discomfort - eeek.

    Regarding the comment about NHS paying: Where I live, the government health insurance will cover some kinds of cosmetic surgery if there is a good reason for doing the procedure it (e.g., patient has scars from a bad accident). But the government might not pay if a surgery is just because someone wants a prettier nose or something. Seems the online doc person thinks you might not have to pay because there was an injury that started things in the first place.

    As for the other bits the online medico said...I don't think he was trying to say that it's not a real issue or all in your mind or anything. I think he was trying to say that after a while, pain/discomfort can drive a person to such distraction that it gets hard to deal with the frustration, and having someone to talk to about it is helpful. And even venting about it can reduce the discomfort a wee bit sometimes...Or so I've been told about my arthritis. :)

    Perhaps you could see your GP and explain the whole situation. Make a list of things you want to cover with the GP. You could ask if it's "nerve damage," and what can be done. You could also ask the GP if anything could be done to help you through a dermatologist, a neurologist, or perhaps a chronic pain clinic.

    For certain, before having more surgery, I'd check out the less invasive possibilities.
     
  20. drendil

    drendil Active Member

    Paul,

    If there is one thing I've learnt about doctors is if you don't like the answer you're getting or you are uncomfortable with an answer from the doctor..seek another surgeon..and if that surgeon is crap..find another...and keep looking for someone that says "i can fix that". On a personal note it took 5 doctors to finally find out what was wrong with my wife and get diagnosed with a brain tumor...so keep looking and don't give up.

    Dave
     
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