Hello, I don't even know why I joined on here tonight or what I hope to gain but here goes if there's anyone out there. I had a revalation this evening when talking to my boyfriend, were not getting on very well at the moment and then it kind of hit me as to why like a punch in the face, this isn't the first time I've felt like this. I wish it was so, but all of a sudden I kinda make sense...can't sleep,focuss, over eating,snappy and unable to raise a smile and just horrible and nasty to be around. I feel scared I don't know why I can't be like everyone else and just deal with life and the things it throws at us. I feel weak and pathetic and I just can't cope right now. I was 12 when I first attempted suicide living through that and other attempts you would think it would make you stronger but it doesn't wanting and willing to die and you even fuck that up doesn't say alot about you does it. I just want my head to stop just for a day, to have a clear day where I could think for myself and have a clear head. It is so full and busy and I can't make it stop does anyone else get this? would really appreciate it if theres someone else out there.