anyone there?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by empty_inside, Sep 9, 2009.

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  1. empty_inside

    empty_inside Member

    Hello,
    I don't even know why I joined on here tonight or what I hope to gain but here goes if there's anyone out there.
    I had a revalation this evening when talking to my boyfriend, were not getting on very well at the moment and then it kind of hit me as to why like a punch in the face, this isn't the first time I've felt like this. I wish it was so, but all of a sudden I kinda make sense...can't sleep,focuss, over eating,snappy and unable to raise a smile and just horrible and nasty to be around.

    I feel scared I don't know why I can't be like everyone else and just deal with life and the things it throws at us. I feel weak and pathetic and I just can't cope right now. I was 12 when I first attempted suicide living through that and other attempts you would think it would make you stronger but it doesn't wanting and willing to die and you even fuck that up doesn't say alot about you does it.

    I just want my head to stop just for a day, to have a clear day where I could think for myself and have a clear head. It is so full and busy and I can't make it stop does anyone else get this?

    would really appreciate it if theres someone else out there.
     
  2. Polar

    Polar Account Closed

    Hi empty_inside,

    Welcome to the forum!

    I'm here and I hear you.

    I'm so sorry to hear about what's been going on but I do understand. You think you're weak and pathetic but you're not. For example you had the strength to post here instead of bottling up your emotions inside which makes you strong.

    Being sensistive is not pathetic and you are not pathetic. You seem like a caring person who is vulnerable at the moment that's all.

    I know how you feel as sometimes I feel weak and pathetic also but this is not the case. Maybe contact a therapist and explain to them what is happening. This will help you to clear your head and give you an objective perspective of how strong and great you'll probably find you really are.

    Also try unloading these thoughts cluttering your head by others means. Perhaps a recreational activity you enjoy or writing down these thoughts may help.

    Welcome again to the forum and I hope things improve for you soon. Please feel free to post here anytime because I'm sure many people here would like to support a good person like you.

    Take care.

    Kind regards,

    Polar
     
  3. empty_inside

    empty_inside Member

    Thank you Polar, I have found that in the past regarding therapists councellors etc have not been much use to me as one of the reasons Im so messed up is to do with dad and abuse all they really focussed on was trying to get me to go to the police and prosecute. I felt they were more interested in that than listening to what I had to say so I stopped talking.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    They were trying to protect you all they had to do was report him themselves. You need to try again to talk to a therapist who will help you heal inside. Are you on medication to help settle your brain down Have you been diagnosed with ADHD I hope you have a doctor or psychiatrist who can help you find out what is wrong and get meds for it and a new therapist who will listen. Please know we are here to support you in anyway we can take care
     
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