I don't know if you actually believe in paying for sins committed in a past life. It would be wise to squelch that line of thinking as it is simply untrue and not productive.
Things can get better in most situations, although I'm not sure of yours. They've done research on differences between happy and depressed people and one of the best indicators of being happy was having an ability to plan for the future and also be hopeful about it. I write stuff down in notebooks about my goals and keep track of things and it helps keep me stable.
my life is so uncertain and I don't know what the future holds,
exactly hun no-one knows what the future holds each corner can bring so much possibilites You give up now you will never know what life will bring you.
You have to take each day at a time and enjoy living in the present tense not the past or the future. Enjoy each day and what it brings you okay Don't get caught up in the past or future.
Total eclipse is right, you must try not to get to caught up in the future or the past. Life is difficult but it wouldnt be life if it wasnt, it has a strange way of reminding us that.
Keep safe and all the best
I am so sorry you are struggling...I know what it is to be in ill health and what difficult it is to motivate one's self...sometimes, I have to call one of my friends and say, 'tell me you love me', just to get through...please continue to post here and feel the support that is here...J
Sadeyes, I really can't go on, I know I'm loved by many but they aren't hurting inside like me, this continuous struggle with my inner demons is killing me, I used to be so full of life and now I'm a shadow of myself, I can't continue to battle on and on.
P.s I'm sure my friends and family would be happier without me, I know they are hurting inside seeing me like this