Anyone too embarrassed to tell anyone?

[Hopeiseverything]

More days than not I am suicidal. I see a psychiatrist, a therapist, etc. My husband knows I am struggling but even doesn’t even know to what extent. My siblings don’t know. They would be astonished if they knew what has gone on the last 3 years as I am the ‘responsible’ one....the one who handles my elderly mother’s affairs, etc. I Was always the one who was the most put together then my world crashed.
Realistically, I know I should be hospitalized or in an intensive outpatient program but embarrassment keeps me from admitting that......not to mention fear of hospitalization itself. I also fear embarrassing my husband, my children, etc....though I am sure they would rather see me hospitalized then not here at all.
Anyone else ever feel this way? Thanks.

 

[flowers19]

While I am not in the same kind of position, I definitely feel the same you do. I just moved across the country and bought a house at 19. I am so afraid of committing myself to a hospital and the disappointment it would cause my parents to know I can’t even handle living on my own for the first time. My thoughts are with you.
-J

 

[Aurelia]

More days than not I am suicidal. I see a psychiatrist, a therapist, etc. My husband knows I am struggling but even doesn’t even know to what extent. My siblings don’t know. They would be astonished if they knew what has gone on the last 3 years as I am the ‘responsible’ one....the one who handles my elderly mother’s affairs, etc. I Was always the one who was the most put together then my world crashed.
Realistically, I know I should be hospitalized or in an intensive outpatient program but embarrassment keeps me from admitting that......not to mention fear of hospitalization itself. I also fear embarrassing my husband, my children, etc....though I am sure they would rather see me hospitalized then not here at all.
Anyone else ever feel this way? Thanks.

Why can't you do intensive outpatient? Do people necessarily have to find out that that's where you're going?

 

[Lac49]

While I am not in the same kind of position, I definitely feel the same you do. I just moved across the country and bought a house at 19. I am so afraid of committing myself to a hospital and the disappointment it would cause my parents to know I can’t even handle living on my own for the first time. My thoughts are with you.
-J

If you are feeling that bad and need to be in the hospital then put yourself in one. Your parents would rather have you here and getting better. Don't be ashamed for being depressed or needing help. It happens to millions everyday.

I went in one 20 years ago, came out and did great for years. People never treated me badly over it. I even worked in construction and they understood and some had been there or had family member's that had.

Don't worry about what anyone will think of you. Your parents will be happy you got help. If you need help go get it.

 

[The Tigress ♡]

Hey just wanted to drop by to give you a hug.