I'm extremely suicidal and this has been going on for the past two months. Everyday, every hour, every second is a torture to me and I keep thinking of suicidal action i.e. wanting to jump off a building and living like this is a torture and I can't go on living like this. No amount of counselling can change the way I feel and medication doesnt work. I'm so suicidal until I can't concentrate on anything. My elderly parents keep trying to talk me out of it but nothing helps. Although I know the devastating consequences that will happen to them if I were to kill myself, it doesn't stop me strongly wanting suicide. And the feeling of being extremely suicidal really kills me. The urges are so strong and I really want to do it. But I'm scared and worried about my family. I see the look of sadness in my elderly parents eyes and desperation but I still can't control how I feel or get out of it. Nothing interests me at all, really nothing and I don't want to live. Praying to God to take my life away doesnt work and I need to do something. But somehow I keep on living. It's really a torture to be alive like this. I really dont want to live. The only way I can see myself ending my life is through jumping. I researched the various ways but none seem instant unless I jump.But if I were to jump, my badly smashed body will haunt my family. I'm really damned. Cursed is my life and I really need to end it. How can I live on like this? It's killing me. I'm beyond help but Is there anyone like me in this forum that can relate about the 24/7 extreme suicidal urges, so much so that it paralyzes everything? I am so suicidal that I can't even type much in this forum although I visit here everyday.