I keep hearing again and again that people think I'm arrogant, or that I think I'm too cool for everyone. I hear it from people who are close to me, and they are telling me sort of as a sympathetic heads-up "from someone who really knows you" - because people who are close to me know that I have the lowest self-esteem of basically any human. They cite reasons like "you don't talk much in public," "people try to talk to you and you don't notice/don't respond/don't show any enthusiasm," "you don't say hello when you walk in the room," "you never call/write/visit/etc." In my head this is because 1) I can be sort of shy, especially if I am on the down-swing of my life-is-beautiful/please-kill-me-now cycle; 2) I am really desperately oblivious and dreamy and distracted and forgetful and confused in a Case Study for Inattentive ADD (my doctor's words) kind of way; 3) I don't always understand people when they speak German or non-native English and that embarrasses me; 4) I don't want to draw attention to myself or bother other people; 5) sometimes I just don't have anything to say. But it comes across as arrogant, apparently, which to me is both HILARIOUSLY IRONIC and something that I don't know if I can do anything about. And that makes me so sad, because if there is one thing I don't want to project it is arrogance, not when I am fighting an uphill battle against "too embarrassed and full of self-loathing to live." Has anyone else come across this? Any advice?