Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Broken95, Oct 17, 2016.

  1. Broken95

    Broken95 New Member

    It's like I've been so depressed and so low and so down on myself that I just don't even have any feelings anymore. Im at the point of low that I don't even understand the point of anything anymore. I don't know why I continue to wake up each day I don't know why I'm even reaching out. Nothing helps. And I'm getting to the point of apathy where I'm becoming so irritable with everyone around me. I get so angry by just listening to my friend simply talk and I have to get up and walk away. I tried cutting to try to get myself to feel like anything and I felt pain but I just can't get myself out of this rut. I'm in college and I don't see the point in going on anymore. With anything. I don't know want to do any of this anymore. Im sick of feeling depressed until the point of just not caring about anything in my life. The only thing keeping me here today is that my family loves me and I could never hurt them for all that they have done for me. I am so afraid to talk to a professional because I know they'll just lock me up in a psychiatric unit. I was put in a psych unit when I was 16 and it was the most horrible experience of my life and made my depression like 10x worse. I'm convinced the only thing worse than dying is being forced against your will into a psych unit. I want help but I can't go back to that place again I can't....I'm so scared and just ready for everything to end but I just needed one last try for help.
  2. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hello Broken, my names Brian and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you're feeling so badly, depression can truly take us to a dark place. Have you spoken to a doctor about medication, if you give them the symptoms of your depression I'm sure you could get something to help. The only way they'll force you into hospital is if you say you're a danger to yourself or others. Please reconsider getting help, it is available. But I can understand your feelings from the past experience.
    Take care
  3. moxman

    moxman I am proud to call Rosie, my best friend =) Forum Pro

    Hello Broken95, I am Mox

    Thank you for joining us at SF. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I know that is not an easy thing to do. I invite you to read my story below in green. Just know that you are not alone in pain. You are not alone in your suffering. While you are at SF, you are safe. No one will judge you. No one will harass you. You are with friends. I tend to ask a lot of questions. It is not to belittle you, I am just trying to understand your unique situation better. You are not alone anymore, you have us. If you are having a bad day, lean on us. We are strong, we will support you. We will give you emotional support and lots of *hugs.

    You mention you are suicidal. Do you know why we feel that way? (I am suicidal too) Would you like for me to explain it to you?

    You mention, you are scared of seeing a mental health specialist because you are afraid of being locked away in a psych ward. I understand your fear. I don't understand, why you feel this way? What are you going through that has you scared so much?

    Could you tell me more about this horrible experience in a psych ward? You sound terrified. You were hospitalized at age 16, what caused this to happen?

    You mention, that you have a loving family. That is fantastic. Could you tell me more about these wonderful people? You obviously love them, they love you.

    What are you studying in college? How's it going for you?

    Take Care