Apologise?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Krem, May 25, 2010.

  1. Krem

    Krem Well-Known Member

    For a month or so, my emotional life was going down the day. Every day bleaker and more paranoid than the next. It peaked when I sent a cryptic goodbye message to my a friend, saying goodbye. I did not reply to their IRL greetings. Now, once I'm feeling better, I miss them and wish to resume the friendship. But.. they didn't try to ask me what was going on, why I did what I did, and so on. And that's keeping me in check. Maybe they see me leaving as a relief, maybe they "know" to stay back, maybe they're just not mature enough to talk about other emotions than irritation and enjoyment.

    Any advice on how I should do this, IF I should do this?
     
  2. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I had a friend who I've known for almost ten years now (we actually met in therapy) who did something very similar to what you did. None of us could understand it, but I saved 29 pages of chat transcripts of us trying to puzzle out what was wrong. Of course, it never occurred to us to just sit down and ask. I think we were trying to avoid it because people (guys especially, I find) tend to shy away from emotional issues.

    If you apologize, and offer a brief explanation (something along the lines of "I was having a rough couple of days and really just needed to be alone with my thoughts") then I'm sure things will improve. Your friend may not be bringing it up in an attempt not to cause you further emotional pain by dwelling on it. Not knowing your friend, I'd definitely make an effort to repair your friendship with them if I were you, even if they were not comfortable asking you what was going on.
     
  3. Krem

    Krem Well-Known Member

    It lasted a month or two, with not speaking to them happening... about halfway through. It has been ~2 months since.
     
  4. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    My closest friend actually did the same. When I dropped out of school for depression and an ED I didn't even get a phone call from her, if I wanted to talk to her (even now) I'd have to make the effort. I don't think she's a bad person or didn't care... I guess that's just the way some people are? It must hurt but I wouldn't over analyze it.
    Just drop them a email or phone them explaining. I think you'll be happy you did.
     
  5. Krem

    Krem Well-Known Member

    Will I? Will I get a half-arsed excuse? Will it lead me back into an episode? Will they not bother making an excuse? Will they completely blame me?

    ..not that you could answer, since I know them more, obviously, and I don't have the answers. Guess I'll just need to find out.. maybe.