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Apparently, I fail at life.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by UnfinishedFairytale, Jun 26, 2010.

  1. I honestly, am so sick of hearing how I 'don't do anything'. My dad & brother trash our place all on their own; I know this how? well, because I'm either in my room or out of the house usually. When it comes to dishes, I wash & reuse mine 99% of the time. But, of course, if I don't do the 1237198273912873981273 ( yesh, i'm being a bit dramatic, but still. ) dishes in the sink; it starts in on this 'she doesn't do anything, she never does anything.' from my brother. which gets my dad started on it. they also refer to the fact that like most people my age, (i'm eighteen now) i'm not getting out of the house 24 | 7. Why? Well, I can't drive; I'm a highschool drop-out ( not by choice. ) with no form of picture ID; the only friend I hang out with anymore is one of those... 'everybody loves them & they're always busy' types, so I don't get to see her often; & in all honesty, because i'm just depressed. It's hard to get out when it feels like everything's falling apart.

    Anyways, for what seems like the millionth time in a week, they were at it again; they do it in front of me & when they think I can't hear & I'm sure they do it when I'm actually not home. I get it, okay? I fucking fail at life. Because, you know, it's my fault that I wasn't fit for a public school in anyway & I had to switch back & forth after that; it's my fault my mom didn't pay the tuition right off when she had the money, for a school I was actually doing well in; it's my fault that I'd rather try for a GED than go back to a public school for 2-3 years; it's my fault that both of my parents say they'll pay & take me to get my ID& have for year, but then come up with some goddamn excuse to get out of it; it's my fault that my dad & brother make a mess & i don't clean it up; basically, everything's just my fault. Right? Right. At least, that's how my family seems to see it. & Even though I hate them. & Yes, I do mean hate them; It still sickens me & makes this depression a hell of alot worse when I get blamed for every god damn thing. When my every failure is thrown out there as if it's all my fault& as if I never do anything right. I don't cry often anymore, but I'm crying right now. I'm so sick of this. I really am. I need an ID, I need a job, I need my GED; I need out of this goddamn hell hole. I can't stand living with my dad & brother; & I won't even bother trying to live with my mother again. Life just sucks. -___-;

    ( sorry if this is the wrong thread, i assume it's right. :/ )
  2. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Hey UnfinishedFairytale, it sounds like we have similar parents somehow. My parents are the same, they expect me to clean up after my messy brother who does nothing (doesn't even take his plate out to the kitchen, he just leaves it in his room/on the dining table for someone else to get) and when I don't I get told I don't do anything. My mum treats him like a God because he has a job and makes money, so therefore he is allowed to sit back in his room all day and let the women (me and my mum) run around after him like his personal secretaries. I'm thankful that I don't live with my Dad, because he'd be the same. My brother can never be bothered to go and visit him even though he lives just across the road but still my Dad throws money at him for no damn reason. My mum's the same.. when she goes to visit her step-mother on Fridays she comes home and gives him £15 to order a pizza for himself, even though he makes hundreds of pounds a month from his job. I'm left to make dinner for myself and if I don't/can't (I can't cook and don't have a job therefore no money) I am just told to make do with it. Because I don't have a job and dropped out of university they call me a reject and a retard, tell me they hate me, and want to bash my head in. I don't understand why people like our parents bother having kids when they favour certain ones over others, or just can't be supportive enough when we need them to be. It's really not fair that they're treating you this way and I understand where you're coming from. >_< Just don't let them get you down too low. They aren't worth that. :hug:
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    :hugtackles: It sucks when you have a lazy people who pick on you. I do not know where you live, but do you have public transit? My mom always pulled that on me. "If you really want to go somewhere you can get yourself there". So I would scrape together a few dollars and ride the bus, or ride my bike.

    As for your one friend. Well I know it is kind of rude, but why not ask her if you can join her in some of her exploits? Most friends are more than willing to let friends tag along, the more the merrier is what they say right? It never hurts to ask.

    You sound like you have the drive to succeed. As long as you have that drive you can succeed. It may be hard but you can do it :hug:
  4. @ Avarice; It's nice to know of someone who gets where I'm coming from in this kinda' situation. ~ & thank you, i've been trying not to let them get the best of me as of lately. Hopefully you're doing the same. :3

    @ Forgotten_Man; I take the bus when I need to, only because alot of times the whole sytem of it sort of confuses me. Especially when there's more than one bus that goes to one area, but then goes somewhere else aswell. >3<;; & the only bike I have is difficult for me to ride, since it's one of the taller bikes; so, it's harder for me to reach the peddles. Which is why my dad's basically claimed the bike as his. x:

    Yeah, I can't do that, I'd feel bad about asking; plus, alot of what she's doing this summer is hanging out with people she'll be going to college with. I got to hang out with her yesterday though, I possibly will get to this weekend aswell. &Next week a friend of mine is coming to Colorado to visit, which has got me smilin'. :)

    & Thank you.~ I'm doing my best.
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    The RTD system is a nightmare to figure out. I know I spent most of my childhood trying to figure it out. I would spend more time plotting my course than I would actually doing what I wanted too XD.

    Glad to hear a friend is visiting.
  6. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    :( I'm really sorry you're going through this. I know what it's like to have people at home making you feel awful for no reason no matter what you so, and you definitely don't deserve it. I wish you absolutely the best of luck on getting your GED etc. Try and have fun when your friend visits, and feel free to PM me if you ever want to vent more. :)
  7. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Do not allow others to convince you of anything you are not, and certainly do not allow anyone to judge you. Set your mind to one goal at a time, and when you accomplish a goal, move on to the next. Stay grounded and use their negative words to fuel the fire that pushes you to succeed, prove them wrong. And when you do prove them wrong, get out and leave them to their misery. No one needs to be in that environment. Blessings..