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apparently i relapsed...

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obscure

Active Member
#1
there were all the little signs that i should've payed attention to, skipping meals, my workout intensifying, weighing myself more often, all things that seperately aren't a threat but all put together are my personal living hell. i should've seen it, especially when the image distortion started but i didn't, i brushed it off like it was nothing and now, now it's too late. it quickly fell apart and devolved. the only thing i eat is slimfast powder, i cut, i can barely even look in the mirror. anorexia got me again, that bitch.
 

RainbowDust.

Well-Known Member
#2
Hey sweetheart.

I can totally understand what its like to not realise you're relapsing until its wayyy too late.

Maybe you could try a diary on what you're doing throughout the day, it takes a lot of effort cause you have to write down everything you eat and drink, dont include calories or anything, just what youve eaten, who you've spoken to, whether you've done any exercise, if so, how much. What you're plans are for the week.

and every 4 days re-read it, see how things look, if you see a slight change you should focus more on making sure you dont fall back into a relapse, this is of course for next time.

Right now all i can say, is eat little and often, cliché i know. Just try little foods. nothing too drastic, try get your calorie intake a little higher.
Take care.
Ambs x
 

Sadeyes

Staff Alumni
#3
Now that you recognize the problem is back again, maybe you should consider talking to someone so that you can see what triggered it and how you can get back on track...J
 

obscure

Active Member
#5
i know what the trigger is, ive always known, i just cant seem to let go of anything so i cant let go of the underlying issues. so im stuck in a repetitive spiral, at least im not drinking and snorting coke anymore. there is a bright side. i just wish i could let go of everything im holding onto. i bet id be an inch taller with all the crap weighing on my shoulders.
 
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