The end of August, I left SF because of what I perceived as insensitivity of others in some threads. Had those things happened when I was really bad off back in April and May, I probably would have gone ahead with my plans. I have just come out of a bout of fighting this wretched dragon that has invaded me and am having the usual residual effects, mostly feeling that this can not in any way be considered quality of life. I found myself yesterday trying to force myself into the Chanukah spirit and mindset. As I attempted to write a poem for Chanukah, I got more and more frustrated. How can I write about miracles when I stopped believing in them long ago. I thought that perhaps I should return here and, without getting involved to any extent, find some sort of camaraderie. What I find is things have changed. I couldn't find any of my previous posts except by sifting through everything. I found my farewell post and saw that it had been used as a means of hurt or others. One of which has now closed their account. The only people who have benefited from my existence are those who make money from me, doctors, pharmacies, landlord, etc. I really should never have been born, especially since no one really cares that I am alive. Please forgive me for all the hurt I have caused within this forum.