Approval and realizations

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by peaceduv02, Sep 25, 2011.

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  1. peaceduv02

    peaceduv02 Member

    Well, I just recently got approved for disability...I am relieved, but at the same time, I can't help but feel that my feelings of relief are turning into a way of self loathing.

    I look at my friends, friends from high school, people I went to school with in general, they are all successful...Teachers, working for a production company, working with 3D animation, military, moving out of state to live in big cities...And here I am, broke, working at mcdonalds, and on disability...

    I truly feel that I am no normal 24 year old, and it really deeply saddens me. All my life I had dreams of becoming a singer, or teacher, artist, whatever, and here I am, working at mcdonalds with a diagnosis of Schizoaffective, and hearing and feeling things that aren't there, going to doctors appointments, never going to school, ultimate failure. People my age are usually college grads, working on their masters' and doing the trade of their dreams...I'm working at mcdonalds and receiving government assitance, and I just want to me a normal kid/adult.

    I want to be able to have fun on my own hard earned money, and live off my hard earned money...I am relieved I'm getting help, but at the same time, I feel like it's a slap in the face with a big sticker on my forehead that says "DISABLED" in bold uppercase characters, and that I'm frowned upon. I'm not even going to tell anyone anymore about it...I'm done. I'm ashamed.

    I hate this. I want to work and be proud of myself...
     
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hi peaceduv02. Welcome to the forums. I wish things had worked out more like you wanted them to, but I'm glad that you got approved.
     
  3. peaceduv02

    peaceduv02 Member

    Thank you, I'm sure I'll be ok...I just have too much pride, and have always been hard on myself...
     
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Pride is a sin in some religious circles!

    Well - to have pride in yourself is a good thing - BUT - if your thinking its better to be dead than receive the charity you would give others - come on now - you know that's illogical thinking - not a moral argument - not a sensible argument or any kind of theory that is going to actually be taken seriously!!!

    I went for some UK test - disability - and failed - got zero points for depression! lol - I mean - its insane!

    But I got some other benefit - and some will call me a 'scrounger' - well to them I say - thanks for paying your taxes - and STFU.

    Put it this way - if the government turns around to men like me and says "we cannot give you work - we have messed the economy up - and we will not give you enough to eat, pay rent and so on,"

    lol

    There would a war - a very real war - ragged at first without aim or direction - like the riots - looting for personal gain - well - looting for an ipad is understandable for now - but if people had no money for food - no homes - trust me the English would wage a war - and the people who called us scroungers - really would cry for the good old days.

    Every nation should look after its own people.

    So - TAKE those benefits - don't be ashamed! Do you think the bankers feel ashamed at stealing trillions and bankrupting nations and waging wars to steal resources?

    Charity works two ways - if you have no shame at giving it - have no shame at taking it. I'm poor - not ashamed of it - and anyone who looks down on me for being this way - God help them.

    I'm not going to be bullied by some dimwit who sees the poorest in society as a burden.

    And rich people who cry about people getting benefits - I bet you fiddle your taxes - I bet you are not so honest despite being rich!

    Just pay those taxes - be glad unemployed people have something - be glad disabled people have something. You might have nothing one day.

    Blame the bankers for the fact we have no work.
     
  5. Anneinside

    Anneinside Well-Known Member

    Please try not to be shamed by this. You wouldn't get it unless you needed it. I am on disability and I was a professor of education. I don't tell many people I'm on disability... my hair is white so I can get away with saying that I'm retired. I know it's difficult but it is the right thing for you right now.
     
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You have nothing to be ashamed of.. You paid your taxes when you did work..Well it's time for some payback..I've been on it for years.. But I paid in alot also..So pplease don't look down on yourself..
     
  7. peaceduv02

    peaceduv02 Member

    Thank you everyone...I'll try not to be ashamed...I've only worked since I was 16, on and off, and now I'm 24...It's just discouraging to see my work life come to a short end...Granted I can still work a little, and I want to, I just wish I could be more self reliable...
     
  8. Penance

    Penance New Member

    My friend, i know exa tly what you must feel like, due to some personal family issues, i have grown up being a broken and misunderstood person and let's just leave it at that for the time-being. Well,here is technically what i am facing - i bave been facing difficulties in college and have considered dropping out of it many times because i have realized i would make a decent enough end-product the course of getting there itself would probably take it's toll on me and i am 22 myself now seeing all my friends moving away to big cities,earning respectable incomes and leading a good life and here i am stuck with my never ending course which i always keep failing and have been diagnosed as a mild schizo with depressive,raga and OCD issues and i try my level best to go on with. So basically what i am trying to tell you is you are not alone in this world,fight it out,tell yourself you are better than all this and much more,start applying for courses you are interested in and live life to it's fullest. It's a brighter world out there which we ignore to see most of the time :)My friend, i know exa tly what you must feel like, due to some personal family issues, i have grown up being a broken and misunderstood person and let's just leave it at that for the time-being. Well,here is technically what i am facing - i bave been facing difficulties in college and have considered dropping out of it many times because i have realized i would make a decent enough end-product the course of getting there itself would probably take it's toll on me and i am 22 myself now seeing all my friends moving away to big cities,earning respectable incomes and leading a good life and here i am stuck with my never ending course which i always keep failing and have been diagnosed as a mild schizo with depressive,raga and OCD issues and i try my level best to go on with. So basically what i am trying to tell you is you are not alone in this world,fight it out,tell yourself you are better than all this and much more,start applying for courses you are interested in and live life to it's fullest. It's a brighter world out there which we ignore to see most of the time :)
     
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