I suppose this is appropriate. Though I am usually very open about the things that drive me mad. I've been considering suicide and a more complex plan of it for some time now. But this is the section to "let it all out.." so, I am tired, mentally and physically. Tired of trillions of things, big and small. Tired of reliving every bad memory I have and failing to bring any good to mind. Tired of my job, tired of the people around me. But deep down, I'm tired of myself. The last few days have been the worst, I feel empty, something is missing. I tried seeking spiritual guidance but no false idol or supernatural power has the answer and I don't take pills. I have not been diagnosed with anything, not that a doctor could, I wouldn't let them. I know what they want to hear, so i let them hear it. I hate myself, everything about me. No matter what I do to change, it's never enough, even trying to achieve my dreams makes me hate myself more.