So here I am posting on a suicide forum. I have friends (but not real friends, acquaintances who would rather be talking to someone less pathetic and sad looking). as of recent no one even wants to talk to me. Every day, even after "happy" days I think about killing myself and have been recently researching lethal doses of aspirin because I figure its better than paracetamol . But I know I'm too cowardly to go through with it I find no joy in enjoyable activities and I feign smiles all day. At this point, I cant actively seek psychiatric help due to the negative social stigma and unwilling parents (I also sleep about 12 hours a day and eat very little) No one wants to help me but I want help . Is anyone else in this situation or has been?