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Are guys better keeping things to themselves?

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Well-Known Member
Im not saying guys are better at keeping secrets

what I mean is should guys on the whole let fly with their emotions sometimes or are they best to keep them locked up. I like to hide away from the world till I've solved my descrepencies, I don't like taking to the streets armed with daggers. I could really do some damage to some people I know if I had my way with them. I feel this is dangerous.

From experience women are better off talking about it than keep it pent up inside. any thoughts?


Chat Buddy
I've kept things bottled up usually or taken them out on myself, i'm not sure if thats the best way, it's messed me up emotionally a bit...


Well-Known Member
yeah, same here with the emotional stuff. I hate it but I have to kinda 'suck it up' if I get angry sometimes. Its trying to find a way to ease those feelings without blowing a fuse.


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
I think you need to balance it. No one can relate well to someone who doesn't share themselves, but you don't want to wear your heart on your sleeve either.
Too many people around who'd use the knowledge to hurt, manipulate or get at you.

Finding the balance can be soooooo bloody hard. :unsure:


Well-Known Member
tough balance ain't it, I try and let it out in dribs and drabs when people least expect it. sometimes I lose it though, to be honest things hurt me less and less the more I listen to them, but i keep a mental note of who bites me, and try and slip in the odd below the belt comment. sometimes I go too far... but I get kicked in the nuts so muchthese days there virtually numb anyway. :smile:


Staff Alumni
I always find, now, that honesty is the best policy ....

I found it hard to tell my parents last year when I was feeling suicidal, but I told my teacher, and eventually she told them. They were really supportive...

Now I am just honest when I'm not doing well.... they would want to know and help me :)

My opinion, is, if you can, be honest with people :)


Well-Known Member
Well, I'm the real life equivalent of Silent Bob. I never talk unless I have to (e.g. when ordering food, answering a question, etc.), so of course no one knows how messed up I am. I wouldn't say I'm that good at keeping everything inside, though, as I do like to post here on SF a lot. It's my outlet.

I'd like to think it's a myth that guys aren't as emotional women. We are. We've just been socialized not to overtly express that emotion. It's not considered manly to reveal too much of yourself when you're feeling down and vulnerable. While a severely depressed woman would lean on her girlfriends for support, a guy would just down a bottle of Jack Daniels and find a good punching bag.


Antiquitie's Friend
Speaking as a man, I find that I keep my emotions to myself almost as well as I keep gas to myself.:laugh:

Read into that what you will.
I found it extremely hard to express myself a few years back, when I was going through middle school. If people bothered me, I kept it pent up inside, and never let show my emotions. I was the classic loner, keeping my feelings to myself.

It didn't work. And I don't think it does for anyone. After so long, the bottle gets full. I can think of 3 times, where I just couldn't take it any more, and every time I got beat up or beat someone up. It just didn't work bottling things inside.

I now will keep things from everyone except my girlfriend, and it works very well. I hate feeling like I'm piling things on her, but she doesn't mind, and it helps a lot.
I can't speak for a guy, but what I can say is the statistics for depression are biased and are quite unaccurate. It's proven fact that women are more likely to step forward than men when it comes to depression because men are commonly seen as this strong masculine person and some feel it is a weakness to step forward and reveal you have depression. It's also proven in research that women are, on the whole, better at dealing with their emotions because more women step forward to depression than men and if women have a problem or stresses in their life, a woman sometimes has friends they can talk to whereas with men - like I said, it's that male strongness thing getting in the way. Perhaps the rather large suicide rate for men is a reflection on the small(ish.. compared to women) number of men coming forward about their depression. So my feelings on the matter? I don't think men, on the whole, can cope much better than women because at the end of the day - we are all humans.

Sorry for the psychology talk, after studying it these stats get drummed into your head and I thought it was interesting. I hope I made a bit of sense! :rolleyes:
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Well-Known Member
I think you're right Resistance. Also, the large figure of male suicides is also due to the fact that men are more likely to succeed in an attempt because they choose much more aggressive methods than women. Women tend to choose less aggressive methods and as a result are more likely to end up at A&E and be offered help from there.
I dont think keeping it in is the best way to handle things all though alot of us tend to do it, keeping it in just builds up your emotions till one day you just snap, ive had days where ive completly lost it mentally, not a nice experience best to get it out when you can :smile:


i have to say i have kept my emotions bottled up until i had 2 'breakdowns' where i ended up crying and letting everything out. however my parents know only of my depression, not my suicidal thoughts and self harming, which i dont want to talk to them about. i dont really like talking much, because i just usually upset someone else or just myself and make things worse. :(
What I've noticed it..

when you keep things bottled up....your emotionally retarded...you have no heart...

but when you show your emotions.....your a wuss.....a drama queen.......a weirdo...

so at the end of the day....you can't win!

especially with women, they always want you to be open and honest, and if u are...they think your a wuss! argh!!
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