Are some people to old get help?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Dying To Live, Jan 8, 2011.

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  1. Dying To Live

    Dying To Live Member

    I ask because I'm 36 and life is just to hard to deal with anymore. I've always had depression and anxiety issues all my life and did try to commit suicide a few times but was to scared to go through with it. Nothing has turned out the way I thought it would growing up. At 36 I figured I would be married, have kids and none of that came to pass, only disappointment and failure. All my life I've been a piece of trash and will probably always be and most people treat me that way especially now.

    My father who was a Vietnam Vet tried to kill himself in front of me when I was 8, he was drunk and having a flash back about his buddy that was blown to bits from a mind and crying that it should of been him. Then at 17 my councilor who I was very close with, she was almost like my mom, killed herself by over dosing. It still haunts me to this day.

    I don't what I'm trying to say, I guess I just wanted to get that out. I don't want to live in this evil, selfish world anymore and can't stand my worthless existence day in and day out.

    Thanks for listening, sorry If I'm taking up space here.
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hey Scott. Sorry to hear that you're suffering man. It's never too late to get help with your depression. Don't give up man. :hug:
  3. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    you've been through a lot. it's entirely understandable why you feel as you do. that doesn't mean you have to suicide.
    you're 36. to reach 36 given what you've experienced must've taken some guts, on top of the normal stuff that gets thrown at us on this crazy planet.
    what has kept you going?
    have you had some support around grief? either formally or not. sometimes it can help resolve issues or help see them in a different way.
    you mentioned you had ideals that you haven't experienced - what is currently going on in your life? what's your social situation? looking at it honestly, and i feel like i'm talking out of both sides of my mouth, relationships don't make anyone happy; if anything they cause a helluva lot more pain! i'm not writing them off but it's good to bear in mind...I hope that doesn't sound patronising?
    what are your options should you stay? a theoretical bucket list so to speak. we are all going to die someday, after all. can you think of anything, even if it's tiny that you would like to do/experience that is worth hanging on that much longer?
  4. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni


    You are not taking up space here, in fact I'm really glad that you wrote and expressed some of what is going on for you. It sounds so incredibly difficult.. I can't imagine what it must've been like for a young child to witness that. Then on top your counsellor who you were very close with kills herself. They are two very big events in your life and you were very young too, I wonder how you processed them in your mind? I mean, for example, did you think that they were both your fault somehow? (by the way I'm not saying they were your fault, not at all!)

    I'm 32 and never been married, not got children, etc. and I often feel this pressure on me that i'm not "normal". I do want those things in life, to have a relationship and feel close to someone would be amazing.. but for me i don't allow it because i'm scared of the rejection.. that i'm not good enough or 'normal' enough to have those things. It's difficult though and sometimes i wonder too whether there's any hope for me.. whether i'm not too old to get better, etc. But i guess it's never too late.. or at least i hope not!

    Please keep writing here if it helps.. you won't be taking up space or anything and we'll gladly 'listen'.

    Jenny x
  5. ~Young-Violet~

    ~Young-Violet~ Banned Member

    Hello Dying To Live,

    It seems like you have had a rough time and are still going through alot of pain :hug: It is never to late to recieve help, your 36 that is still a yooung age. Even if you don't know it. You have lost a lot of people in yyourr life to suicide I am so sorry, you said that your couseller had killed herself, meaning she wasn't mentally heealthy enough to be a couseller. You are not taking up space we are hear too listen to you, let your emotions out I'm glad you posted :hug: Are you getting a new counseller at all?
    Please take all offeered help :hug: x
  6. youngter

    youngter Member

    Dude your only 36, and your single, bonus, and what do you mean by your a piece of shit? explane yourself Dude, they don't have smilies for these postings or I would have put something insane on here...
  7. Dying To Live

    Dying To Live Member

    Thanks for the replies everyone. I've always had low self esteem and as a guy you can't really talk about it to anyone.
  8. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    yeah the whole masculinity deal is crap, and i say this as a female so i'm not pretending to know what it's like.
    nothing deep and meaningful here, just that i think it sucks.
  9. Dying To Live

    Dying To Live Member

    It does suck, men can't express themselves like woman can and if you do your seen as weak. Its funny because I think men and woman often feel the same things.
  10. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Hi Scott I'm 35 and have thought actually the same thing as you.I've been in this mess for a fair amount of years now wondering if it will ever improve.
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