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are things any better?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gchicklet, Sep 4, 2014.

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  1. gchicklet

    gchicklet Well-Known Member

    I am at a point where I'm seriously considering putting myself in the hospital. It's not a decision I'm taking lightly.

    Here's the thing. I was hospitalized as a kid. I was 11 years old. It was not a good experience. It was decided that I was too young for the adolescent ward so I was put with the adults. I had groups with the teenagers but was definitely an outsider since they were all together and the only saw me at certain times.

    My roommate was a 24 year old on suicide watch. So between the extra person in the room and the nightly checks, sleep was impossible. Which of course was counted against me. I did get a new roommate after a while, but it was worse. She was an elderly woman who screamed for the nurse all night. Again, you had the CNAs coming in twice a night and going through your things and reading your journals.

    It was also held against me that I was never in the common room. The tv was constantly at full volume and I couldn't deal with the noise. The one time I did watch TV my choice of program was held against me.

    Therapy was a joke. My very controlling mother was almost always there. And when she wasn't he (the shrink) made sure to tell her everything I told him. The fact that I wouldn't talk....again counted against me.

    This wasn't even the half of it.

    That was 25 years ago. If I go back it will probably be to the same place. I can't do that again.

    Do you think things have changed or gotten any better?
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I think that a lot of things will have changed over the course of 25 years and the fact that you are an adult now will means that your experience will probably be a lot different. I don't think you should let the experience you had as a child put you off if you feel that hospitalisation is what you need now. To be honest, it was really irresponsible to put you in with the adults when you were a child. You should have been on a children's ward or at the very least the adolescent ward. You also won't have the psych this time telling everybody your business. As a child, psych's have to tell your parents about what you say as they are your legal guardian, but you don't have that problem when you are an adult.
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