I feel so ashamed of my suicidal feelings, I wont bore you all with yet an other lengthy post about what is making me sad, but it can be summarized as... Sexually abused as a child, Estranger from my family for four years, Facing disciplinery action at work which may lead to a dismissal Part of me feels that I have a right to be depressed about the thingts that have happened to me. But an even larger part of me feels ashamed to even consider doing something that would cause so much pain to my family, friends and students. I sometimes feel sick with worry about how my students and friends would take the news that I had killed myself….I feel like a complete coward. I work it a quite deprived inner city area, many of my students are refugees from places like Somalia and have endured the most terrible things, many have been homeless or lost parents in wars yet they have found the strength and courage to endure. Other students have come from broken homes and have been the victims of abuse or have alcoholic/drug addict parents and are forced to care for their parents as well as four or five younger siblings and the tender age of just eleven. Yet they find the strength to endure. So something that makes me feel even more sick is when I read threads about people wanting to kill themselves because they are physically ugly or because they are board with life. I just feel stunned by a thread I read today in which a person was looking for a pretty girl to enter into a suicide pact with because they wanted their final day to be ‘perfect’ I’m not saying everyone on here is selfish, I have read many threads by people who are in abusive relationships and have no way out and by people with similarly sever problems. But I feel many of us on here, my self included, should just feel ashamed of contemplating suicide.