I wrote a post a bit earlier 'Please Help'; still struggling, still don't know if i can manage and face things and i thank the replies i did get so very much xx ….. i just want to know if any others feel similar on a particular issue (of many) - what does one do, if the mother you love and adore, a mother you thought you knew, turns out to be a stranger, who says you're too old to have a mother; and won't help, and enjoys a 'socialite' life, whilst their 'child' suffers alone i'm 47, but being struck down by severe, chronic illness and losing all my achievements after being thrown out of home at 16, she doesn't want to know me …. and one loses all their friends, because not many can cope with friends who are often too ill to get out are we ever too old to want your mum, a mum who cares? so many of us so desperate for that unconditional love; we hear of soldiers at war,calling out for their mothers …. i just don't understand, because i would never do that if i had children, which is also part of my grief, in losing that ability to have a family of my own and feeling so alone. So many years of pain; and all i've ever wanted to do is help others from my training ……. how can it stop when all one wants to do is feel a part of 'life', but when one feels that the only 'out' is death, especially when one doesn't want to die. the pain is unbearable and i'm so sorry to all for being a burden, for that is what i, and many of you, feel.