Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by armsopenwide, Dec 17, 2011.
ok first please dont delete this post,,,
anyone feeling that low they wont be here next year?
Wish I had a better way. That's about the only reason I'm still here. I just don't have any way to do it successfully on my own.
same as really, same thing i been trying to tell the experts, all i needed was someone there proper not tablets or crap, just to be treated nice just for lickle bit, funny no human as ever gave me no love or kindness but got two german shepherds that more than make up for it, i reckon we should all build a big family of nutters i say that in a nice way thou, cuz damn rather be me nutty than "normal"
absolutly unless things change in 1 week but then again probably not gonna change.
heck 2012 is the end of everything and everyone anyways
yeah im gone in around one months time,felt scary writing this and seeing the words in front of me.its gonna have to be some scary ass violent end for me tho i wish my heart would just give out or something.The family of nutters sounds good,like one of those hippy communes where we could of all just been ourselves and not had the stress,strain and judgement of society on us.
I'm figuring to be here into next year, but after January I doubt it very much, even that seems a long way off at the moment....
2shay lol forgot about that, woohoo see there is something to look forward too lol, things are as never dark as ya think they are, i know there not the same( there better) but dogs help big time, id be gone if it wasnt for them, when i cry even the 4 month old one comes and cuddles me, and now when people try and get to me my big one tells them they better think twice, he aint nasty none of them are, there just not like people cuz you treat them nice, they treat you nice, there when you need to talk, moan or even shout trouble is mine answer back and always as to have the last word, i was attacked twice big time mainly cuz i was well still am blind, picked myself up but they took my confidance and i couldnt get it back, now cuz of them i go walks all times of the night and early mornings down proper dodgey places lol, one stays with me, one ponders off a bit to check the way, woman and kids of all ages love my dogs, men( the ones who think there bad, or the ones who are) they dont come anywhere near them or me which suits me just fine lol, ive always had german shepherds or been around them and there the best, i hated brushing them but my old one when i was well low i even got into that, i dont at the mo as little one is a short ass and cant walk far at mo but normaly walk miles, take my back pak with there water and stuff in and just go off and it is so relaxing even if i have got lost so many times like in the middle of lincolnshire the wolds lol, but keeps my mind on other things,
but no dont give up, when we gone we gone, game over, read my sig,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
---------- Post added at 12:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:21 PM ----------
hippies yeah thats the way, and break it down and all those things are free, im not like talking relationships as in bf/gf/gg/bb/ think ive covered all lol, but there like so many lonely people on here all going through the same kinda things maybe just in differant ways, some stronger than others, one of them stronger ones( or even just someone with a bit of good in them) grabs one of the weaker ones and in stead of kicking them down helping them back up, it dont cost nothing, all the lonely ones get together, people with stupid amounts of money they dont know what to do with it, help someone with no money im sure that would make them feel good, they have always tried giving me tablets when all i ever needed was someone there,, really dont get how cold the world as got, im blind and it stands out like a sore thumb, love, kindness, caring, honesty and loyalty it dont cost nothing,
we should do our own party for the loops lol
I have 9 days to save our home, if I don't succeed, there is nothing I can do but end my life. I still have a tiny glimmer of hope that I'll find a way to fix it, but I'm resigned to the fact that if I can't, it's all over for me. I'm terrified that I won't be able to fix it for Honey's sake. But I'm ready. And I'm not afraid to die.
bugger, can you not get someone in to resnt a room for a little while, dog sitting/ walking. not sure how to use this site properly yet so i dont know where you are, but i got a spare room, if it gets to that point, but i know it seems hard but one life, you gotta live it, not kill it,,
I'll probly make it till 2013. From then on, who knows really.
Idk how about others but I am in constant mode of 'i_am_going_to_kill_myself'. So I just set next dates so it's like I am about doing it after xmass, but yeah, probably I will be here to flood internet with my 'i_hate_myself' BS
I sure hope I'm not around by the end of the year.