Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by boo, Oct 11, 2010.
Are you afraid to live or to die? :mellow:
Afraid to die. I don't want to die a painful death. Sure after I am dead, there is no pain. But.... before that you struggle and struggle. ugh.
Both I think... I'm scared that my life will just continue to get worse and more unbearable but yet... I'm afraid of death...
Sam Cook wrote/sung:
"It's been too hard livin' but I'm afraid to die, cause I don't know what's up there beyond the sky"
I love that song...but I'm not afraid of death, I'm not afraid of an afterlife...or even the threat that everything just ends. No spirit, no heaven, no reincarnation..just soil, and worms and trees. I've thought extensively about this (mostly when I was 12/13 or so) and I seemed to have come to a resolution...I am no longer apathetic towards death, I'm just accepting. Of course..perhaps the day I die, I may be overwhelmed with sorrow, or the feeling of eternity (if this is incoherent I apologize)...but I will not be afraid.
The only thing I'm afraid of is living life without love. I'm afraid of being unloved. I'm afraid of regretting everything I do. I'm afraid of hurting everyone around me. I'm afraid of living in isolation. Yet I do it everyday.
It's a miracle I'm not in ashes right now.
Yet, I do not fear life...it seems I only fear relationships...or the lack of them...Perhaps I just fear other's lives intruding upon my own. Or the fact that they never seem to want to intertwine with mine.
There are different types of fear, so this question is fairly ambiguous and difficult to answer. But I did my best.
I think I'm afraid of both, in a way.
I'm afraid of living, because I'm afraid of a lot of things going on around me. No matter what I do or hope things always get worse. Right now there is so much fear inside me I do not want to live. I do not want anymore of my nightmares to come true.
Sometimes my mood gets so bad I don't feel anything and am not afraid of death. I've tried now twice to overdose, and one time was because I snapped and the other because I did not want to deal with what was happening. But then other times I am afraid of the pain of the process of dying.
Not afraid to die just afraid of the pain of getting there.
not afraid to live just have no reason to
I'm afraid of both. I'm always absolutely terrified, it seems. :/
Both. I hate my life and I want it to end, but I'm too much of a coward to bring about that end myself
Both, because survivng after an attempt would kill me and I have no clue what could be waiting on the other side.
Im afraid to live but im a scared to die.
im afraid to live because i think it will always be this balls! Scared to die though....
Afraid to die, I can't get over the fact I will die someday, but the scary part is when.
I'm afraid of living and dying.
I's afraid of nothing.
I've seen what life is like and its a load of shit, its boring and theres no fun in it anymore. If I stay here, I already know what to expect... more of the same.
I have no interest in life nor do I have a reason to continue living so why bother?
I've never died before and have no idea what death is like. To me, death holds more of an interest than life does.
Neither. I've accepted that it's inevitable that I'm gonna die, and that really I am living now. Not with full satisfaction, but I am breathing for the moment. I guess.
I's afraid of nothing, mofo.
In all my thoughts of death i don't think being scared really occurs to me. Now living, i can't see it getting any better, so with all the bad things to come, thats another story.
Hmm, I wouldn't exactly say fear is what really drives my suicidal existence. More like shame and dissonance between what I felt my life could have been like if I had taken the right opportunities when it was available and if I actually had stable parents and what my life is right now. It's just a whole lot of frustration, envy, and shit loads of shame and disillusionment. Death doesn't really scare me per say. But I've made a lot of progress, and so I still have some hope that I can become what I've always envisioned, and I'll keep riding out the tempest.
probably to live.
I've lived and realized that shit happens-- but my luck is so horrible that bad shit always happens to me and I just don't want it anymore.
I've never been afraid of dying.
Truth be told- I've already died a few times.
I just can't seem to stay that way.
That's cold nessa