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Are you more forgiving than most?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by down-and-maybeout, Nov 13, 2010.

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  1. down-and-maybeout

    down-and-maybeout Well-Known Member

    Hi all. This is just a question that's been playing on my mind, and it relates to BPD as much as (if not more than) Depression so please feel free to move it if necessary.

    Because of my condition, I have numerous personality issues that generally have to be 'forgiven' or at the very least worked around if anyone is going to be friends with me. And 99.9% of the population appears to be unwilling to have this patience, hence I have only one true friend and have been single for about six and a half years - but because I need this level of patience, I am in turn very patient (some would say too patient) around other people.

    That is to say, I have been dealt out some real shit by people in the past, but generally I forgive them quickly and move on because I would always hope that I might find someone who'll forgive me my negative traits as well. Of course, it very rarely happens in this world: people are quick to condemn and unwilling to understand, in my experience.

    Unfortunately this also causes me problems, as I end up tending to forgive people who don't deserve forgiving and only realise what arseholes some of them are when it's too late. This pattern of forgiveness, for example, led me into a situation earlier this year in which a deliberate and calculated effort was made by two women to drive me to the point of suicide, and they almost succeeded.

    I'm not looking for sympathy or to compare bad experiences - the above is purely an example to help people understand my main question, which is:

    Do you, because of your condition, tend to forgive too easily? And if so, does it lead you into the same sort of trouble it leads me into?
  2. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Sometimes I forgive people things because I feel it's only fair to, because of the amount they put up with me for. But sometimes I just can't. Like partners put up with all the crap that comes along with my borderline traits, but then when they do something that annoys me, makes me paranoid, upsets me whatever, I go off it. Logically I know I should forgive people of things but then I can't.

    But then again when forgiving or not forgiving means keeping them or losing them I do tend to forgive, even if I really shouldn't.
  3. down-and-maybeout

    down-and-maybeout Well-Known Member

    That sums it up perfectly!
  4. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    i tend to hold grudges and then it eats me up inside :/
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