Are you suicidal forever?

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by JadeApostolico[2], Aug 30, 2009.

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  1. In 2008 I survived an overdose. But everyday, I wonder if it might have been better if I had died.

    A part of me wonders if I will ever forget these suicidal feelings.

    I am afraid I will be suicidal forever.

    Which leads me to the question...once suicidal, always suicidal?

    [I can only hope someone tells me the answer is no]
  2. Littlewiji

    Littlewiji Well-Known Member

    I have a very good friend who was raped by his cousin about 4 years ago. He's definitely not suicidal any more
  3. Reading that your cousin is no longer suicidal after an event like that, gives me hope. Thank you.
  4. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    Don't wanna bring you down, but I've lived through many close attempts and still very suicidal..
  5. Thank you for your honesty. Good to hear you are still here.
  6. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    I could go either way.
  7. Rose24

    Rose24 Chat & Forum Buddy

    I have been suicidal for a very long time but I do think one can recover even if it is a very slow process. It seems to be a case of moving on from that bad point in your life to another point where you are happier and more content with the way things are. However, as always change is difficult and takes time. I am working toward changing my life and I hope that you can do the same :hug:
  8. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I think it is different for anyone. I think it's possible to be suicidal for years and have an epiphany or something that changes your life. I think it's possible that slowly over years you begin to feel better and better. Also, I think it's possible to find a way to live with the thoughts and still experience some happiness in this life.
  9. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I think of it in terms of a disease. The way an alcoholic (which I am) looks at alcoholism as a disease.

    I think once we have crossed that line and became suicidal, that thought will always be somewhere in our mind.

    We may bury deep in the recesses of our mind, but it is there, just waiting to spring up on us.

    So, like the alcoholic who can't take that first drink, we who are suicidal can't let things get worse.

    And if they do, we have to remember the resources that we relied on to keep us safe before.

    Meds, Docs, Pdocs, etc.

    Anyway...just my humblest of opinions. :wink:
  10. Menchi

    Menchi Well-Known Member

    Its a difficult thing, as those like myself caught in the middle of those feelings, can't see a way out of them. If there was one, most of us would have used it to not feel that way.

    The truth is, i think that the self destructive tendency which causes someone to feel suicidal, never could go completely, but could be diverted, and eventually suicide can be removed from a persons thoughts, but it takes a very long time to do. I've struggled for 10 years, and found no way out.
  11. Thank you all for your replies! I have lots to think about.
  12. hi my name is

    hi my name is Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure how to answer this but in my experiences i was suicidal in grade 8 but turned away the suicide within a week or two and have just been traumatized by such a feeling so i dealt with some depression.. i am now 20 and had a blast at rez in my first year of college which is probably the best year of my life and i havnt felt bad for a lonnng time. but now im the worst i have ever been. i plan on doing it two fridays from now when i get paid so i can buy a painless,quick, and definite way of going about it. i feel that because i have crossed the line into that mindframe 7 years ago, i gave myself the option to reconsider as i have seriously before. i thought it was past me for sure but now it's all i think about all day. in the end it's mind over matter. or better yet heart over matter cause your heart knows the answer 100% of the time
  13. I hope that you reconsider your plans to commit suicide. I do not know what your life is like, but I wish you would decide to stay around. Keep your head up, smile for me. : )
  14. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    I think your question contains an incorrect assumption: Namely that there is some sort of "one size fits all" answer to what you're asking. Some people may indeed go through a phase of being suicidal and then for whatever reason (finding love, or religion, or buying a winning lottery ticket or [fill in the blank]) stop feeling that way. Or perhaps stop feeling that way through NO external intervention of any kind. Others may never stop feeling suicidal at some times, most times, or what have you, whatever their personal circumstances.

    Of course I can offer no empirical evidence of my own to back up what I'm claiming above, but to my mind it simply stands to reason that different people would respond to suicidal feelings differently over time. Seem reasonable?

    And note that a site like SF probably wouldn't attract very many of the former group (suicidal at one time, but no longer), but would draw those of us in the latter group like honey draws flies.
  15. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Well, major depressive disorder *can* (not "will") pass, so some with it will not be.

    I'm bipolar. Bipolar is for life. So is schizophrenia. These diseases have the highest suicide rate... You'll probably be suicidal for life with these.
  16. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    aoeu, that makes me feel better... I have psychotic disorder... high suicide rate there too.
  17. Tonto

    Tonto New Member

    I attempted suicide last year...And actually it felt really good when I slashed my wrists.. No pain just the relief of seein my blood pool and me passing out. After a while i woke up kinda pissed it didn't work. Still there is n't a day I don't think of trying again...Hoping for peace again someday
  18. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I sometimes think that too. I suppose if it is triggered by a life event like mine is, or is it something that just came up.

    I think of giving up on counselling because I think no matter what anyone says I will always be like this. Have had a few goes at it. I think sometimes I must be a legend, when you hear at hospital, "after taking all that, I am surprised your heartbeat is so low"...

    CAT (crisis assessment team) team says there is nothing they can do for me.
  19. monnie101

    monnie101 Member

    I was suicidal most of my life all through out childhood. I had a childhood of horrors. I am now 30 and I haven't been seriously suicidal since around age 21. I have doubts on life once in a while I get down in a rut and ask myself what is it all for. I casually think over suicide but I never seriously think on doing it and I could do it very easily with a sure fire method.

    I hope that gives you some hope. I was super suicidal as a teenager and I'm not anymore.
  20. depleted_soul

    depleted_soul Well-Known Member

    I have been suicidal off and on for 11 years. I do not know if it will last forever and to think that there's a chance that it will makes me not even want to be around to find out.
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