Are you the black sheep of your family?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Anonymous2, Apr 3, 2007.

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  1. Anonymous2

    Anonymous2 Well-Known Member

    Everybody in my family is healthy, happy, successful, and without psychological problems. I, on the other hand, suffer from debilitating chronic pain, depression, severe social anxiety disorder, and I’m not successful. In fact, I still live with my parents and I’m 25 years old. Since I’m surrounded by healthy, happy, successful people, I feel like even more of a loser than I would if I lived alone or in a “normal” family. I told my mother that I do not deserve to be a part of our family. I wholeheartedly believe they would be better off without me. Some day I hope to gain the confidence to swan dive from a bridge on the west cost (I’m sure you-all know which one):smile: . I think that would be a cool way to go out, and death would be quite certain (I assume this is not breaking forum rules since bridge jumping suicides are common knowledge and I don’t mention details. If it does, sorry).

    Anyways, back to my main point.
    Does anybody else feel like the black sheep of your family?
    How do you cope with being a black sheep?
  2. Evo_L

    Evo_L Well-Known Member

    Yeah a little bit, my brother is more of a mess than me though, he hasn't had job in five years. All my extended family are really good looking, not entirely successful but they're all married and happy. Maybe you should see it as comforting though if you do decide to kill yourself. A part of you is going on to better things instead of being a total misery.
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I am. Because I was abused as a child. I'm tarnished. :dry:

  4. BrooklynRider

    BrooklynRider Well-Known Member

    Am I ever! More like a goat in a family of sheep.

    However, I came to realize that I am far more interesting aand powerful for having survived what I did than everyone else. I love them. I don't like them.

    I wear the "black sheep" label as a badge of honor. I don't want to be like them.

    (my story is in the SUICIDE FORUM)
  5. I definately am the black sheep of my family, and I am not coping well with being it, at all.
  6. Nessarose

    Nessarose Well-Known Member

    My family is full of physically disabled and mentally troubled people. I have depression, schizophrenia, and social anxiety disorder (among other things), but my medication alleviates so much of it, and as my family members are wrecks as well, I don't feel so bad. I can relate to and sympathize with them. Now, comparing myself to friends and peers...that is painful. I'm so far behind and so childish. I'm nineteen (almost twenty) and terrified to drive, among other things.
  7. Dave303

    Dave303 Well-Known Member

    I don't agree with this approach. Suicide is simply not worth it. There are always options. Being the 'black sheep' of the family just means that you're going through some problems right now. Please talk with a professional or with us and we are here to listen!
  8. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    I've always understood the term 'black sheep' as describing someone who is disreputable, or an undesirable outsider. I don't think it's fare to describe a person battling with illness in such a dismissive way. Comparisons with other people are worthless. What is success anyway? Many people wear masks to hide their sadness. Some people the world considers successful cry themselves to sleep every night.
    Personally, I don't think your family would be better off without you. I'd see you as a beacon of courage and persistence in the face of adversity. That's inspirational to anybody.
    As for the Golden Gate, I'd ask you to look in to some of the stories surrounding suicide attempts on that bridge. They make for enlightening reading in to the realities of this method.
    All the best lonelychronicpainman
  9. blade

    blade Well-Known Member

    yeah im like that. yeah the term 'black sheep ' makes sence.
  10. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I'm known as the egg by my family cos I have 2 degrees, but instead of it making me feel good I know they find it a bit odd and scarey(no one else in the family has gone to uni). Also I'm the only one with friends that are of different races and creeds and the only one not driven by the need to accrue money. I'm also the most religious one...wonder if they took the wrong baby home from the hospital:unsure: :blink:
  11. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    A lyric comes to mind:
    "They hate you if you're clever, and they despise a fool..... til you're so f***ing crazy, you can't follow their rules" - Working Class Hero (John Lennon)
  12. flclempire

    flclempire Well-Known Member

    im a blue sheep :cool:
  13. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    A sheep without legs? A cloud.
  14. systamatics

    systamatics Active Member

  15. Deathly Strike

    Deathly Strike Well-Known Member

    I'm often reminded by my caring mother that I'm the only loose screw in the family, haha. How I've managed to cope with it I do not know. I am probably the biggest failure in our household and out of the entire family. I suffer from severe depression and am on anti-depressants however I haven't been taking them. I often single myself out from the family, though, and try to ignore them on every occasion I get. However, there are times when that is unavoidable and they all like to take this chance to remind me of how much of a 'psychopathical freak' I am...
  16. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Yep, I sure am, the only one suffering from depression and thinking about suicide and nobody understands.

    Also, I feel rotten that my parents are the most well off of their sisters and brothers but their children are FAR better than me, they live in poverty in India but are studying so far to become doctors, computer scientists and engineers and I think about ending my life when I am lucky to live in the U.S and have so many amenities. :sad:
  17. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    I don't know about being the black sheep but I am the only one who I feel has suffered the most in my family emotionally mentally and shit like that. I'm the only one with a therapist, the only one who tried to commit suicide, the only one who's only had short time relationships with girls, the only one who hasn't finished school, I can go on and one but I'll stop here...damn my life to hell... :(
  18. tired2death

    tired2death New Member

    it is very difficult for me as i am considered a "black sheep" for lack of better words to describe how i am viewed in my family. i do not like reading how others are treated because it makes me see that i am not alone. i am viewed as a failure by my family because i view quality of life more important that money in life at all costs. i have had diabetes since i was 7 and therefore spend a lot of time each day planning around this which makes working full time not possible. i want to be healthy physically and i am however my family does not see it this way. i work in a very high stress/crisis environment and i like my job. after living on my own for 12 years i have had to move home to look after my mother who has literally a hole in her heart and lots of other issues. she is so abusive towards me and always has been. its almost like she sets me up to fail every chance she gets. i moved home but was able to keep my job as they supported me with less than full time hours so i could do all the things i need to for my mother like drive her to appointments etc. the longer i am home however the more ensnared i become being back in an abusive situation. i am told every day that she wishes i had a hole in my heart and would die. i am very strong however hearing this day after day i am way past resentment and am very very low on hope. i am 31 and can honestly say it would be easier for me if she doesn't make it. my parents are still young and my dad still works every day but would not be able to look after himself as he doesn't know how to cook or clean or look after finances. my mother is so controlling over everything. she has long severed any familial contact with members i had relationships with and has fostered an abusive relationship between my older brother and myself. i was physically abused by him as a child.

    i want to know why would a mother do this to a child? why does she love so much a son who abuses his own family including me? my friends love me and are incredible people but why do i feel so undeserving of anything good? i am single and on one side feel i have a lot to offer a relationship but then i quickly think who would love me? i should say that i have good self esteem but my self confidence sucks to put it nicely. when i was on my own i felt good about myself but now i just see no end to this and if i chose to leave i would not ever be welcome in any of their lives and i have nieces and a nephew whom i adore and cannot imagine giving them up.

    just to add some information, i resemble my family in looks but not in personality at all. i am a very thoughtful caring individual and accepting of others. my family is very racist and old fashioned, for example my mother has never worked and now she does nothing except pay bills as i do all the cleaning, cooking, laundry etc. i live in a rural area with only white people but i have lots of connections in the city where i lived for 12 years. i hate my parents comments about other cultures and these comments are made to hurt me but it doesn't hurt me it makes me mad. all the guilt that is layed on me i don't take as guilt i feel anger.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 5, 2007
  19. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    How do I cope?

    Answer: I don't...
  20. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    I'm definitely the black sheep in our family. I'm the perfect example of someone who did everything exactly the way nobody wants it or nobody should do.

    Dropped out of Uni, depressed, bisexual, skipped classes all the time, alcoholic, do drugs, barely sleep and if I do it's during the day... well basically I was and did everything my family despised. So now I'm only in touch with my Sister. I kinda don't have any contact with any of them anymore.

    So yeah, I cope with it, by cutting off contact. or well I TRY to cope with it that way, but of course that doesn't really work either :rolleyes:
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