are you truly loved?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by lostcupcake, May 8, 2015.

  1. lostcupcake

    lostcupcake Member

    How do you maintain a relationship when you constantly believe that you cannot be loved by someone? Even though they say they love you but you can't see why and don't really believe them.....
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    You cannot. If your self image and self esteem issues make you believe that nobody could possibly love you then every relationship will be a cycle of that person trying "prove themselves" while you consciously or subconsciously throw ever more impossible tests at them to convince you and eventually people will tire of these "tests" that distract form closeness and happiness and either leave or become bitter at never being believed and constantly tested.

    The expression about loving yourself before others can love you has some merit. I also believe that their is no history more powerful than today and yesterday, so it is possible to change the way you feel about yourself if you change the way you treat yourself and the choices you make today then tomorrow your history is not as dark. Low self esteem or even self hate does not have to be a permanent condition.
     
  3. lostcupcake

    lostcupcake Member

    Thanks for the reply. What about if both parties are suffering from mental illness and kind of feel the same way towards each other?
     
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Lostcupcake, relationships are hard. People say one thing and they mean another thing. It's hard if both parties are suffering. As both parties are suffering, it's a test of love where if both parties care then they will support each other. I know it's hard but the course of true love is never like a fairy story. True love is tested but in the end it might fail or be true.
    It's a very hard question to answer but perhaps one has to suffer in silence whilst supporting the other partner. I hope response helps you. Please be safe and take care.
     
  5. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    It depends on the situation. The huge part of being in a relationship is to care about eachother, and to be able to work together. Sure there are variations, but most successful ones work like this.

    The massive problem with two people who are depressed, is that you generally have to compensate for eachother. If you are unwilling to deal with the problems, you are going to suffocate eachother.

    Your problems don't go away. You still have to deal with them, and learn how to grow again without letting them bring you down. The problem with relationships is, some people run off the euphoric nature of being a relationship. And allow that to energize them. But their problems are still there. It's a massive massive problem. Don't get into a relationship unless you are 100% committed to overcoming your issues. You'll only end up with a greater mess that will hurt you even more.

    Relationships are a great responsibility. You expose yourself to someone. So.. you have to make sure everythings for a positive progression.
     
  6. lostcupcake

    lostcupcake Member

    There both really interesting replys thank you.