Are you your own self fulfilling prophecy?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Scum, Aug 4, 2010.

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  1. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Things like 'I'll never pass/succeed/complete that' so therefore you don't try? Or 'I want some friends but no one will like me' so therefore you withdraw/are nasty/isolate yourself/don't try, etc?

    I reckon most of us do at some points in our life, do you think that's a feature of your life at the moment?
     
  2. varek

    varek Well-Known Member

    Yes, I really think that if I didn't keep trying to sabotage myself in life (relationships, studies) then I'd probably be an alright human being. But alas it's so difficult to reprogram my brain after thinking this way for so long..

    Is this affecting you too?
     
  3. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Yea. I tend to do it 'accidentally'. But that probly doesn't make sense :laugh:.

    After a while, you just get stuck in this ditch, and you can't seem to get out of it. One day I hope to get out...
     
  4. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Even with our free will to act, we are still victim of the Butterfly Effect. For example, a ball placed at the crest of a hill might roll into any of several valleys depending on slight differences in initial position. Just like that ball, the pattern we choose to follow isn't always our doing. No matter how straight in line you want to walk, so many things can influence it.
    So, i think to question what if you would have done things differently or what if you choose a certain pattern will lead to a better result, then i'll say no one will know for sure.

    In my case, i never tried to be self-fulfilling. I always think to control something as chaotic as life is an impossible quest.
     
  5. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    ^ Great post.

    I don't know, I don't like the term self-fulfilling prophecy. It reminds me of an angry social worker when I was telling her what I knew would make me feel better.

    People have reasons for not wanting to try, make friends etc. It might be as fundamental as they aren't well enough to do so and/or have no desire to, are met with difficult reactions from others when they do try, they are in a difficult circumstances out of their control, or have ambivalent feelings about what they want. Pushing someone/oneself to do something when it's clearly not the right time, can lead to bigger disasters than doing what feels right for you at the time. I'm a restless person, myself and I get easily frustrated in one place or with certain people- which is probably why I am where I am now, and have travelled so far emotionally and otherwise. I didn't choose to be a restless ambitious person...:mellow:

    Hiding, curling up in a ball, sleeping, are all ways of looking after oneself (which are things I have difficulty accepting atm)- and If that someone was to do anything else, it might cause them so much stress they end up in a crisis, or in a "vacant/numb" place. I am not a fan of "think postively," and cognitive behaviour therapy; I find that comes naturally when everything below the surface is working well. If you're feeling shit and anxious, you are feeling shit and anxious. Let it flow down its natural course as safely as it can, blocking/forcing it off that course can just cause bigger problems later downstream.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 4, 2010
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I think I need to stop posting anything, especially replies that are not support replies. It was a genuine question for genuine reasons and now I feel like a piece of shit and like I've done something wrong. I feel like I've been looked down on and once again that presumptions have been made about what I've said and why. Thanks for that.

    Boo, interesting point of view, thank you. Londorad and varek thank you for your replies too. I'm sorry this is something you can identify with.
     
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You haven't done anything wrong, your posts and replies are totally fine. :hug:
     
  8. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    You have to say that.
     
  9. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Nope, I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. :)
     
  10. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Scum, I gave a personal opinion of your post, which- I found useful because it made me think, while I wrote. You asked for opinions, and not everyone will agree with you- some people might have different perspectives- that doesn't mean you did anything wrong. I actually found your post useful, and thought provoking.

    I apologise if my post wasn't something you wanted. I'm not entirely sure what it was that offended you, other than my memory of a social worker in my past. If my words upset you, I'll stay out of your threads from now on.
     
  11. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Different perspectives are good and its what make us all unique. Boo's reply was completely different and was very insightful. It wasn't actually what you were saying, but more the tone which caused me problems. That may not have been what you were intending and that may have been a miscommunication or even possibly the fact it triggered bad memories. I don't know. But that was what bothered me. I do know that I'm ultra sensitive to all that right now which could account for the miscommunication.
     
  12. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I can't see anything wrong with my tone (other than the first sentence- which you might have taken personally) but an insightful, thoughtful post which I can see might upset you and many others because of it's content. I think I'll play it safe and just avoid posting in your threads.

    All the best.
     
  13. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I guess it just depends on how you read it. I actually think your points were very interesting. The personal tone I received it in just sounds like it wasn't as you intended.

    That's cool, but there won't be anymore, I'm sure.

    Look after yourself.
     
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