If you have clueless parents, know that you are not alone. Most people in this world are clueless, so what makes you think you would be born the small percent that has great parents?
Yes they love you, all parents love their kids. But they are not always right, they are not perfect, and they are not always going to give you good advice. When they tell you to stay away from cigarettes, drugs and alcohol, they are right. but if its about emotions, your major in college, your choice of friends, music, career, whatever, they might just be totally clueless.
Right now, if you are young, it may be that your parents are the most important people in your life, so if they are fucked up, that might be why you are fucked up.
DO NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE WHO puts you down, belittles you or berates you, not even your own parents. Its criminal how some parents fuck up their kids so much and they dont even know they are doing it.
i spent my first 20 something years of my life trying to please my mom to no avail. she did the best she could, I am not saying she was a bad mother, she loved us and would do anything for us, but she never did get it about the "emotional abuse" and "mental cruelty" thing. it wasn't her fault. i grew up, had my own son and realized "I am a better person than you. I am a better mother, and a better christian" and I forgave her and now we are friends. I do not need her to validate me, she still conveniently "can't remember" a lot of what went on, and denies it. I wasted so many years argueing and trying to make her see my point, see my side. It was wasted breath. also if i had listened to my parents i would never be a scientist/engineer right now, i would have been a secretary (not that theres anything wrong with being a secretary, but I wanted more)
The best thing you can do for your parents is to go on with your life, be successful, have your own kids, and be BETTER PARENTS. be understanding, loving, never say a mean word. your parents will notice, and they will see. but if they dont, who cares? you dont need them and you dont need their approval.
and when you grow up, if they try to say they did all that to make you tough and make you succeed, tell them no. you succeeded IN SPITE of them. if you had listened to THEM you would have killed yourself. you listened to others who actually had faith in you.
i am not saying i am a perfect mom. my house isnt the cleanest, and dinner isnt on the table. but my son doesn't care he has a credit card i pay for and taco bell is right around the corner :tongue: i may not be suzy homemaker, but i am loving and caring and he knows who to come talk to when he needs something and that he can trust me. i would never steer him wrong. and I have never missed one of his soccer games or wrestling meets. he knows he comes first.
Yes they love you, all parents love their kids. But they are not always right, they are not perfect, and they are not always going to give you good advice. When they tell you to stay away from cigarettes, drugs and alcohol, they are right. but if its about emotions, your major in college, your choice of friends, music, career, whatever, they might just be totally clueless.
Right now, if you are young, it may be that your parents are the most important people in your life, so if they are fucked up, that might be why you are fucked up.
DO NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE WHO puts you down, belittles you or berates you, not even your own parents. Its criminal how some parents fuck up their kids so much and they dont even know they are doing it.
i spent my first 20 something years of my life trying to please my mom to no avail. she did the best she could, I am not saying she was a bad mother, she loved us and would do anything for us, but she never did get it about the "emotional abuse" and "mental cruelty" thing. it wasn't her fault. i grew up, had my own son and realized "I am a better person than you. I am a better mother, and a better christian" and I forgave her and now we are friends. I do not need her to validate me, she still conveniently "can't remember" a lot of what went on, and denies it. I wasted so many years argueing and trying to make her see my point, see my side. It was wasted breath. also if i had listened to my parents i would never be a scientist/engineer right now, i would have been a secretary (not that theres anything wrong with being a secretary, but I wanted more)
The best thing you can do for your parents is to go on with your life, be successful, have your own kids, and be BETTER PARENTS. be understanding, loving, never say a mean word. your parents will notice, and they will see. but if they dont, who cares? you dont need them and you dont need their approval.
and when you grow up, if they try to say they did all that to make you tough and make you succeed, tell them no. you succeeded IN SPITE of them. if you had listened to THEM you would have killed yourself. you listened to others who actually had faith in you.
i am not saying i am a perfect mom. my house isnt the cleanest, and dinner isnt on the table. but my son doesn't care he has a credit card i pay for and taco bell is right around the corner :tongue: i may not be suzy homemaker, but i am loving and caring and he knows who to come talk to when he needs something and that he can trust me. i would never steer him wrong. and I have never missed one of his soccer games or wrestling meets. he knows he comes first.
