Are your suicidal thoughts deeply ingrained?

[serena]

Every time I face a problem my go to solution is suicide. The thoughts are upsetting but help me not feel trapped in pain and suffering. I've been having suicidal thoughts since I was 10 years old (9 years) so by now I feel like they are automatic thoughts and so much a part of me.

What are your experiences?
Has anyone been able to stop their chronic thoughts, even if it was for a short time? The best I've done was a minimal thoughts for a couple of weeks, but of course they are back.

 

[Kassy]

Same here :-(
The longuest it stopped, was 4 months... I'd say because of my therapy, but it is back...again.

I started to think about it I was 14...means 23 years ago. Both of my parents had suicidal thoughts and hugh self-destruction patterns, so I know it all come from there.

I did a mindfulness course who showed me not to judge myself in that kind of situation. Hard, but I find relief in it. I think about suicide, and it is okay to feel this way.

That is how I cope, so I do not feel guilty about it.

 

[Madam Mim]

I'm exactly the same. And because I actually have my method to hand, it keeps me calm to know I have an 'escape route'. I'm not sure I've ever been able to stop the suicidal thoughts, but then I never tried.

Mim

 

[Stranger1]

I have learned thru therapy to address those thoughts every morning and am able to funtion the rest of the day..I think about a closet and lock those thoughts away every morning..

 

[soon2bforgotten]

Thoughts are there everyday. Whenever I tried to stop and think about trying to go on, I had a breakdown. My mind is just set on dying.

 

[serena]

thanks for all your responses. i'm sorry to hear that you also haven't been able to stop the thoughts but i'm glad i'm not only. hopefully someone will be able to find the answer.

Kassy- I've been taught something similar to that called radical acceptance and its the same idea of accepting your thoughts even if you don't like them/want to change them.

good luck to everyone. i wish we could all feel better instantly...