It all started when I was awarded a bursary. I no longer needed to work, so I got lazy and started picking up dead-end hobbies. The latest one involved adopting a mouse. I bought him a miniature piano in the hopes that he could learn to play the Bach concertos.. but he sucks. It took him a good three weeks to learn 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' and his rhythm is still off. I don't have the guts to tell him he'll never be a virtuoso. What kind of a man am I if a mouse bosses me around and lives off of me? Plus the other day some girl called my bike gay. I didn't mind, but my bike did.