I swear to god i've never felt so bad. why do i have to fuck things up? i loved her more than anything its been 4 years and im still not over it. you ever made a mistake that you swear to god you'd give the world over just to take back for atleast a moment to see what it would be like without that mistake? i'd give my life for it. but shit that wont help either, been thinkin about it. i cant stand myself. i ruin everything. i fill my time with useless bullshit just TRYING to forget nothing helps the thought comes back eventually. i cant deal anymore. fuck it idk anymore.