This is just me venting. No one here will know what I'm on about anyway. Why haven't you written back?? You went out of your way to make contact with me to ask me to write and you haven't replied. I get these phonecalls almost every night from the hospital number. I know it's the hospital you're at, but I don't know that it's you on the other end. If it is you why don't you leave a message?!! And if it isn't you then what does that mean? "Hello there, is that *name*? Um, perhaps you'd like to sit down..." Don't you see that I'm only going to imagine the worst?!! Are you dead? Are you? Did you finally do it?!! If you are dead then I have failed you. And I can't live with that. So write back and tell me you're alive, or leave a message on my answering machine, for christ's sakes! I'm only feeling this wound up because I am SCARED! I AM SCARED!!! :blub: I care about you ever so, and you know that. So fucking get in touch. I have sent you another letter now. Not one that sounds like this post. Because you know what? I don't want you upset. I am now also furious with my sodding boyfriend for only putting a second class stamp on it, despite knowing how important it is that it gets to you quickly. Now what? Sit and twiddle my thumbs?? You know the other thing, C? If I killed myself right about now you wouldn't know would you. Not for a very long time, if ever. Now there's something to chew on.