Discussion in 'After Effects' started by attack_amazon, Jan 2, 2009.

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  1. attack_amazon

    attack_amazon Well-Known Member

    How the hell is that people half my age can get this right the first time and I can't? The one thing that should have worked, and I manage to screw it up. Damn it!
  2. Rockster

    Rockster Guest

    :hug: what happened hun and are you safe now?
  3. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    The body is sometimes frustratingly resilient. Are you feeling a bit better though?
  4. attack_amazon

    attack_amazon Well-Known Member

    Knife was too damn dull and the alcohol kicked in too damn soon and I passed out before I could finish. I'm not going to die, at least not any time soon, if that's what you mean by safe. And now my husband knows what's been going on, because I forgot and left the fucking forum window minimized on my computer.

  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Maybe its a good thing he knows. A bit of extra support can't hurt right now. I hope you can find it within you to search for whatever it is you need to help you want to stay safe.
  6. attack_amazon

    attack_amazon Well-Known Member

    Well, I don't have much of a choice now.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I did the same thing New Years Eve. I started drinking early in the day and by six p.m. I passed out. About 1:00 a.m. I woke up and got sick and went back to bed. Now New Years Eve was my date to commit, blew that all to hell. Oh well I made a promise to some friends that I would go back into the hospital to get some more help. Hell this will be #11 stays in the hospital. Maybe they will get it right this time!!!
    I for one am glad you passed out, you have a family that needs you. Like I told you in a previous post, your family will never get over it. It will be with them for the rest of there lives. Sounds funny coming out of my mouth because I have been this way for years. Please take care and don't be so hard on yourself!!~Joseph~
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I am glad you're still with us and it's probably a good thing he knows what you're going through.At least now he can support you too :hug:
    I hope you feel better soon.

    Thinking of you,Lynn x
  9. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    :hug: having someone close to support you is always good. no matter how much you want to die
    everything happens for a reason hun
    your still alive for a reason. this was not your time
    we're here for you talk to us :hug:
  10. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Im glad your still here, I was worried about you. Please be safe.
  11. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Glad your still here. What's your husbands reaction been to finding out? Hope he is being supportive and from reading your posts in the past I would think he will be. Being able to talk to him about these things may be the best thing that could happen for you. Love and best wishes.
  12. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I think that it's a good thing that your husband knows about your depression/suicidal feelings. At least he can help you know to get better. :hug:
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello AA,
    Just following up on how you are doing? Are you and your husband alright since he found out what was happening with you? I wish you all the best thoughts I can think of!! Please be well and take care!!~Joseph~
  14. attack_amazon

    attack_amazon Well-Known Member

    I'm not alright, but there's not a whole lot I can do about it. We had a huge fight over it and now he thinks I don't love him. In the end, I ended up pulling myself up by my bootstraps and comforting him, which is what always happens. So, now I have to go see a therapist who's just going to tell me to go on medication, which I can't do because I can't fight if I'm on medication and if I can't fight there's no point at all.

    So, essentially, things are exactly the same, only now I'm trapped because I feel too guilty to work up the stones to try it again.
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