Sorry Just needed to get some of this out. Got home, was hoping that things would be better. And in some ways they are. It's been quiet. Which is a good thing for the most part, but it means I spend a lot of time in my head. My father is slowly driving me insane, not in a bad way, in a "he just had hernia surgery and won't let anyone help him" kind of way. Arrrrrrrg. Breathing. It's just been kinda frustrating. Everyone is being nice to me. Which for some reason keeps making me feel guilty and horrible. Had really bad nightmares again last night, the same ones I've been having for months now. I can't remember anything from them, but always have the same feelings when I wake up, and then can't go back to sleep. Ruins the next few days. Every time. And they happen like 3-4 nights a week. Sorry. I'm not making a whole lot of sense. I even took a good pill to try and keep the anxiety down, but today it has been real bad. I just wish I understood why. I don't have a good reason to be anxious, I shouldn't feel this way. Dammit.