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arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh :'(

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Pulsar132, Jan 20, 2008.

  1. Pulsar132

    Pulsar132 Member

    I'm getting really tired of life,

    I know everything i post below and such is pathetic but i just gotta get it out!

    I love this guy but he loves his bf, we would never have the chance to be together, i'm scared of what this guy will do to him, i'm scared of him getting hurt, i care soo much about it him but i have to let go :'(, but i can't because i love him allot, we have great times when we go out but i keep getting Depressed over him which causes arguements, he trys to help me when i'm feeling depressed but he said to me he is getting sick and tired of it all now, so i'm scared of loosing him as a friend, i want to be happy, not always be depressed i've met someone online and i love him to bits he is called Jamie but he lives in Devon and i live in London :'(, i'm going to meet him on the 18th im getting a train but i'm afraid it's going to hurt me having to say goodbye and getting back on that train and going home :'(. I have not self harmed in a white or taken overdoses since about september/october but at this particular moment all i want to do is do it all up my arm and legs and everywhere, i hate how i look :'(, i'm ugly fat and everything, how can people love me? look...

    <Mod Edit - personal pic>

    I want to be 'Normal' and i'm sick and tired of how life is always treating me :(, i want to die, i want to live i'm just really confused i really don't know what to do with myself anymore. I want to be sorted, i'm sick of being depressed. I want to care for people and not get over protective or care for them too much. With me people are able to get into my heart too easy and when they do they just abuse the fact i love them, and it takes along time for me to trust them so this a problem with making friends, i only have a few friends and they mean the world to me, my family never support me, they took me coming out as being gay real bad :(, so friends are a bigger priority then family. I JUST HAVE HAD ENOUGH :':)':)':)':)'(

    I'm sorry i posted this i just had too :(.

    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 26, 2008
  2. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    hold on if you feel like letting go
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: :hug: :hug:
  4. Pulsar132

    Pulsar132 Member

    Thanks, things did get sorted but then today he and his boyfriend met for the first time, and i'm being there to help by answering questions and things he asks to help, just being a friend but it really hurts me answering some of the things he asks :(.
    Aww thank you Lynn, :)
  5. tesseract

    tesseract Well-Known Member

    Isn't that Good Charlotte?

    @OP: Try to vent your pain to someone else than this guy. (like SF, for example)
    This way, it'll be less stressful for the guy, and you can probably remain friends.

    Good luck, and do anything stupid..
  6. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Hey Pulsar,
    I've deleted your picture as we want to protect your anonymity here as much as possible :)

    Take care