art or defacement?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by ibetam, Jul 8, 2008.

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  1. ibetam

    ibetam Well-Known Member

    i'm not good at talking about my harming for how people generally react, doesn't make you feel like you're exactly making a positive difference in the world. what i really want to do is show someone, feels like the only way someone (even someone with far more significant scars) could begin to understand what they mean as part of me. they're like your 'bestist best' childhood friends (though they aren't quite that old), but also almost like twisted dark criminals trying to break out of a fleshy prison. asking to post pictures of them here seems an easy answer (if there's anywhere appropriate on the site), but i want it to be someone who's there in front of me, staring at me. i want them to be totally open and not feel intimidated by the idea of discussing them with me, not feel they have to 'protect' me or feel 'sorry' for me. i've near enough stopped talking to people about anything i really feel because of the reactions they give, makes me feel like a monster. focusing all these thoughts and emotions in means i'm obsessing over them and not resolving anything. i try to write, i try to draw, i've even very poorly attempted a little musical involvement, but i just cut more and more. my scars are my art, but also i fear the marks of my self destruction. glad i actually wrote this much, sorry to rant on when other people could make much better use of the space. tam
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 8, 2008
  2. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    :hug:'s Tam.. I know how you feel.

    To me they look beautiful.. Yet at the same time
    It defaces my natural beauty I somehow poses..

    I feel you though.. most people hate talking about this stuff..

    But if you ever need to PM anyone to talk,
    I'm here.

  3. ibetam

    ibetam Well-Known Member

    thanks for replying
  4. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    it some time does feel like it is the only way to express the pain, i get like that as well.

    hope you find other ways to express yourself
  5. ibetam

    ibetam Well-Known Member

    again thanks for the reply, thanks to you both for the effort. i give up explaining, no-one ever understands, i don't think anyone is allowed to
  6. Anju

    Anju Well-Known Member

    I hate it when people won't talk about harming with you, it's like they think we're crazy for doing it or something. People just don't understand that there's something about those's something that's a part of us, not something that should be covered up and never spoken of again.

    Personally I've never thought of scars as a defacement of any kind, I find it increases my interest in the person in a way, like they actually have some emotion...but then that's probably not a great attitude.

    I wish people in this world would talk about stuff like this instead of pretending it isn't happening -_-
  7. ibetam

    ibetam Well-Known Member

    yeah, each tells a concise tale of passion, any kind of passion, like any piece of art. couldn't help but notice your quote, that song began my interest in trent reznor. tam

    'What have I become?
    My sweetest friend.'
    (spoke to me most)
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