I haven't been on the site for ages, as I thought i was doing better, I was feeling a bit better, and wanted to try and get out there more in the real world, try to be busy and social and active. It has worked to a degree, but every single day, I am still thinking of suicide. Some days are worse then others, some days I want to cry all day, and I make plans to do it. Some days aren't so bad, some days I just think of my options, when would be a good time, what ends do I need to wrap up But every single day, almost constantly, it is in my mind. I can't go on like this. I can't remember the last time something in my life has gone right, months and months and months have gone by with no hope, nothing good happening or even around the corner, just more and more shit happening. I don't know what to do, but i can't go on like this, with this voice in my head constantly telling me to just pack it all in. I want to be happy, I just don't think it will ever happen.