First of all.. I just want to say thank you to all people who helped me here in SF. And to others who is still helping other people. "As time goes by. My life is getting more worse" I can't imagine how this depression affects me.. It changed me entirely.. I just cried today because I lost a friendship with my bestfriend of 5 years.. I really loved her as bestfriend, but I did a mistake and I really blamed myself and cried out of it.. SHE is my only bestfriend.. At the same time, my friends and I had a play with basketball, and we lose because of me.. We played basketball for over 3 years and I am still sucked at playing basketball.. (Some peoples who played basketball for 2 years are better than me) Because of that, my friends got dissapointed to me and it makes me think I am worthless.. YEAH, basketball is just a game. but I tried to train so hard for 3 years and still sucks. Depression changed me entirely.. Sometimes I thought that I should just gave up because my life is really tiring.. There is still a little bit happiness I feel in my life.. But the sadness is about like 98%. It all happened in the same day, And as I said I cried out of it and saying to myself that I am worthless repeatedly.. I am tired.. Physically and emotionally..