asexuality

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by shicky, Nov 1, 2006.

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  1. shicky

    shicky Member

    Anyone here consider themselves to be asexual? I have no interest at all in having sex, I find it quite repulsive. I still desire to be in a romantic relationship with a girl though. But I don't think that will ever happen. My anxiety around girls is awful, and if by some lucky chance I do manage to meet one and get to know her, she will think I'm a freak when I tell her I don't want sex. Anyways, any other asexuals here?
     
  2. thinker

    thinker Guest

    Hm, interesting, don't know too much about the topic of asexuality in people as I've never had that situation myself. I'm assuming you're younger? Maybe it will change once you get into a physical situation with a romantic interest? No way to know for sure if you haven't experienced it.

    I think if not, then you would actually be the dream partner of some girls! I'm sure you could work something out, maybe it wouldn't actually be that bad to help bring pleasure to a woman even if you don't personally enjoy it that much. It's always best to be flexible where possible. Are you saying any kind of sexual experience would be repulsive? Many women have the opposite problem with men in that they can't find a partner who is interested in too much more than sex. I think that even though most girls would eventually desire more, I'm sure there are plenty out there who would take you up on your offer. It's only a matter of finding and befriending them. You would be surprised at what goes on in different people's minds that they don't talk about.
     
  3. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    hmm, I don't know if I can relate or not to asexuality with how I used to feel. I was petrefied of sex till I lost my virginity at 15. Then it was all I thought about till my first relationship at 19. My girlfriend slept with someone else and everytime I thought about having sex after that it repulsed me. I was having difficulty seperating feelings of lust with love so it put me off. Fortunately I've met some really cool understanding girls since then who I've been able to work through my fears of it with and Im kinda back to normal.

    If you have a close female friend you can talk to about this then all the better. Do you want sex to repulse you? if you don't then you can find help, is pretty much all Im saying. If you are happy bieng asexual and its just romance your looking for then look around you man, girls expect to be hit on all the time, If you walk up to a girl and start chatting with her and sex doesn't enter your mind then thats an advantage. too often men ruin there own chances with women by getting distracted by thoughts of sex.

    Then there are the kind of girls who are just c*ck-teasers, they like to make you think they are interested in having sex with you but they have no intention of it. they just like to know they can if they wanted. This is an advantage you have here aswell, your mind doesn't worry about it because its not what you want, sorted. Id love to be able to turn off my attractions sometimes. but you should feel confident because you'll be holding the cards in such situations. appreciate what you have man. it could be a lot worse.

    Women are devilish creatures sent here to destroy men, if your immune to it then you have strength your unaware of
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 1, 2006
  4. Nimrodel

    Nimrodel Member

    Wow... I almost didn't think there were guys like you out there. I'm a girl and I consider myself asexual. It's so hard finding a guy who doesn't want sex....
     
  5. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    as nimrodel has just pointed out, there are some exceptions. guess I just don't understand asexuals, ignore what I said
     
  6. Nimrodel

    Nimrodel Member

    lol don't worry :laugh:
     
  7. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    I have no intention of breeding..ever. People need to stop really, stop bringing more people into this shity over populated world. I dont like being alone, but I still dont want to have problems like ive seen so many people I know have. People with loser boyfriends who dont even care about their kids. People who cheat on their wifes with a hundred different people. Men who dont even bother to ever see their kids. Abuse etcetera. It makes it seem like theirs more negatives than positives and it makes me feel like its not even worth it.
     
  8. immure

    immure Account Closed

    i never did i felt no need for any sexual contact. then i met someone who i thought was alive and smart and really just esentriccly colorful. and some thing turned on in me like a light switch and well never went back. when i was 19. before i lost fundamental ideals of mine. that was all very humblin times. i still bow my head. in humility. towards it all.
     
  9. shicky- do you lack arousal or you just don't want to have sex period? why i ask, if you lack arousal within yourself this could be more than just being asexual (which there is nothing wrong with that). are you on any type of medication? sometimes medication will mess you up, bring you down in this department of arousal.
     
  10. shicky

    shicky Member

    I'm 17. Yeah, I suppose it's possible my feelings might change if I was with someone, hopefully I'll find out someday. But I still think I'd feel exactly the same. Jesus, I'm a 17 year old male. If I'm not interested now, I doubt I ever will be.
    Thinking about anything more than kissing grosses me out. Of course, I haven't even done that, so wtf do I know? I guess I could try to bring pleasure to a woman, but really, what woman would want to have sex with someone that isn't into it? That's got to be a real turn on.


    I don't really want it to repulse me, I think I'd prefer to be normal. It would make finding and keeping a girlfriend so much easier. Not sure I can get help, this is just the way I am.
    Haha, I agree. I don't see this as being a strength though. Don't most women want sex? Perhaps not as much as the men, but still. Oh well, I'll try to focus on the positives.

    I do get aroused, not all that much though. But when I do, I just don't feel the need to act on that arousal. I'm not on any medications, never have been. Random question, would any of you be willing to either give up sex or have very little of it for someone you loved? Just curious as to how important you guys think it is in a relationship. Could you do without it, or do you absolutely need it? Thanks for all the replies by the way, I appreciate it.
     
  11. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Im heading in the other direction if anything. Im thinking about sex more and more lol...not that it helps me at all :) I think if I ever got a girlfriend at this point that I really fancied, she wouldnt get a minutes peace lol.

    Theres nothing wrong with not wanting sex though...thats a personal decision. If your a young male though I would say the chances of that sentiment lasting are slim :) Your basic instincts say sex and procreation are a good thing...although admittedly a little less of the procreation is what the planet needs right now.
     
  12. tip

    tip Guest

    I want sex very much, and do think about it probably average for my age, well before I got so busy with work.

    But to be honest, I just want a girl to love; kissing, hugging and sleeping with her in my arms would be enough for me till marriage if she desired.

    But in the mean time, a one night stand is quite tempting!
     
  13. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    "I'm a 17 year old male. If I'm not interested now, I doubt I ever will be."... 17??? I'm nearly 40 and have never been interested, I never even thought about it before I was 18. It's sad because although I've loved people and deeply cared about them in the end it always came down to "You didn't like me because you didn't have sex with me". I dunno, I guess I respect people and value them but in the end society is gonna label me as screwed up because I don't just shag em and dump em. I'll die a virgin, that's ok that's the way I am, and I don't give a damn about what anyone else thinks or says.
     
  14. tip

    tip Guest

    sex is not just sex, its supposed to be romantic and express your love for a person.

    you may not feel that you want to have sex till you meet that special person.

    don't obsess about it, I think alot of women would wish for a guy who didnt think about sex every 12 seconds.

    don't force yourself into it, life is so much more than shagging someone
     
  15. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Thats certainly how I see it, and contrary to what the media likes to portray, I think thats how most people see it....Very few of the guys I know have wanted sex for sex sake...most of the time its been with girlfriends or wives that they trully care deeply for.
     
  16. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    Well, it depends on your age, first of all. If you are way past that stage, then you may have low testostorone levels. Which controls the sex drive for both men and women (although women tend to have far less than the average male, obviously).

    I can relate to what you say, sort of. In one way I am attracted to women, and the other hand the prospect of sex repulses me. But, I am pretty sickly and lethargic most of the time, so I doubt my body and mind are functioning properly. Oh well, won't have to deal with this shit hole of a life much longer anyway.
     
  17. Crom Cruach

    Crom Cruach Active Member

    I can partly relate to that. I don't find sex repulsive or anything, I enjoy sex, but I only desire sex when I know it's just one off, meaningless sex. If I'm romantically interested in a girl, "in love" whatever people call it then for some reason I have zero desire to have sex with them, I prefer just hanging out with them and being together, sounds stupid I know, hard to explain. If it's a girl I actually care about then I just prefer kissing, holding eachother and other ways of being close without going the whole way.
     
  18. Tahiti

    Tahiti Well-Known Member

    Yes. I used to be bisexual but now I don't have interest in either sex. Yup, I used to be your typical gay porn fan and I used to have a crush on a girl named Alyssa...but she was very pretty so it wasn't my fault! :blink:

    It's just not important to me. A waste of time, and takes up too much of your energy. I mean, when I look at the male sex organ, I find myself thinking, "how ugly" and when it comes to the female sex organ, I think the same thing.

    Sex is over-rated and honestly, it's only useful for the perservation of the human species. Promiscuis people need to tone down on their animalistic tendencies and beastly urges...

    Have you ever considered Philsbury Doughboy? He has no genitals but he's so bubbly and bursting to the seams with joy. Lol. The world has a problem with over-population anyway...in third-world countries and consumer societies alike.
     
  19. shicky

    shicky Member

    That's pretty much what I want. Just having a girl to be with would be amazing. No need to go all the way.
     
  20. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    Sorry for the stupid post of mine above. I'd delete it if I could...
     
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