*Ashamed*

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by ~CazzaAngel~, Dec 12, 2006.

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  1. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I know this is n big deal, but I thought I would post :cry: It's just...doesn't matter. I self harmed again, stitches could be put in, but I am not getting them, as usaul. I am getting to the point to where I am so drrained and hate myself so much that......I just want to die. I want this nightmare to be over. I don't want the burden of all this anymore, even though I am the most self destructive pain in everyones ass. :cry: I don't want to burden people anymore...I want to be free. Though the life insurance my father has on me won'r go thru, he didn't realize that you don't get the money if it's by suicide, I guess he'd get over it. People wouldn't be troubled anymore by my ridiculous existance.


    :cry:
     
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    :arms: :arms: Carolyn :arms: :arms: :hug: :hug:
     
  3. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    :cry:would you please keep watching you're wounds carefully? I would prefer you went to get those stiches, but I can't of course force you to, so please keep them clean and covered, with bandages or something I guess, try to avoid infections.
    It allways scares me, to be honest, knowing people hurting themselves that much, while they don't deserve any bit of the pain.
    Take good care ok? :arms:
    :hug:
    helena
     
  4. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Ohhh Carolyn! :hug: :hug:

    Are you okay now? (physically, I mean)

    Where did you cut?

    We all love you so much, please don't feel like the world would be a better place without you in it. You help so many people, you do so much good.

    :arms: :arms: :arms:

    Let us know you're alright hon',

    x x x
     
  5. netean

    netean Active Member

    chill..

    i know that you self harm, and that's what you.. but just for a minute.
    stop and think about it.. Is harming getting you what you want, does it actually help you - I don't mean for the short term - for the time you do the harming - obviously it does help then. I mean afterwards.

    Does cutting help you move any further forward, does it make you happier in teh long term.

    Considering the cutting hurts - if not at the time, then at least afterwards, it takes ages to heal, looks awful (probably), leaves scars and probably makes you feel a bit shit about yourself afterwards (in all sorts of ways).

    Don't you deserve to find something better - there is something better for you, if not many other things that are better for you.
    It's why some people go running, have sex, ski, ride bikes, drive fast cars, play squash/racketball, paint, draw, write books, cook, walk dogs, work really hard or become therapists.

    Please: stop, sit on your bed for a bit, maybe with a pen and paper, maybe not. and just think about what other things you could do instead. You don't have to do all of them, or even any of them - they might not be right for you.. but you owe it to yourself to look for a better alternative to self harm. Maybe just by thinking about it (when you're not in a self harm mood I mean) you might open your mind to other possibilities? And if just once when you feel like harming you end up doing something else - that's an achievement *truly*

    this isn't directed towards you personally, because I self harmed for years - but self harm is a rubbish strategy. it only makes things worse - you still have whatever problem you had before but now you've got an extra problem - the pain, blood, scars, shame, guilt, etc to deal with.

    Whatever you do... don't feel ashamed for harming... (hard I know, I used to feel awful), but you've been doing it because you've not found (or looked) for better alternatives. when you find them, of course you'll do them instead (because they're better!) :wink:

    Take care :)
     
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