Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Xistence, Feb 6, 2008.

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  1. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    Umm... I am a little ashamed because I am a guy who self injures. I know that guys do it too, but it isn't as common. I feel like everyone is going to look at me like a freak (not that they don't already) if they found out. A lot of them know that I do some stupid things to show off my pain tolerance like burning myself or playing with my knife, but only one of my friends knows that I do it even more in private. He doesn't really know much, but he just knows that I am obsessed with pain and he has seen a few of the marks.

    I just don't know what to do... I can't just stop. I like it too much. But at the same time, I feel ashamed of it.
  2. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    You shouldn't be ashamed of yourself!! A lot of guys have problems with cutting. It is nothing to be ashamed of.
  3. angeliamarie12

    angeliamarie12 Active Member

    May I ask how old u are???? Mabye u are at the age... that u are maturein a little more.... Not saying that u are not mature.... cause everyone is in there own way.... what i am saying is mabey u are realizin that it isent something u wanna do anymore.... seems that u like it tho.... I overcame it... I am 20 years old... and use to cut all the time.... But one of my friends had asked me the ?s and it made me open my eyes.......

    1. DO u wanna have friends.....
    2. Do u ever wanna be married.....
    3. do u want kids.....

    and in these ?s I had asked myself I came to this....

    Yes to all of them

    and what made me realize i didnt want to cut anymore is this

    1. I wont have friends if i do it........
    2. I wanna be married but who would marry me if i do this....
    3. what will i tell my kids when they ask why i have marks on my body .... should i lie.... no i wouldent lie

    Just thought mabey that would help a bit..... ask those ?s to urself mabey they will help......

    and yes guys do it to........
  4. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    People who cut DO have friends.... And plenty of cutters get married. But I do see your point on the children area.
  5. taranama

    taranama Well-Known Member

    firstly, don't be ashamed that you cut. cutting is a coping mechanism, you have some shit that you need to deal with and thats how you're doing it. its not the best way but at the moment its whats helping you. stay strong and be safe :hug:


    sorry, but i totally disagree with this statement....
    i have friends who are mad at me if i don't tell them when i cut, they want to know so they know i'm safe. they want to know before if possible so they can help me through what ever it is that i'm going through. they want to make me laugh and joke and cry and scream or what ever it is that i need to do at that time. they are my 2 best friends and i'm so lucky to have them.

    if you're in a situation that you're getting married, the love that you and your partner will share will be so complete that if you have a cutting problem, he/she will help you through it. and you don't have to lie to kids. they're not stupid and alot of the time, they know whats going on. you just have to clearly explain it to them

    i'm not defending SH but all that about being unloved if you cut is bulls**t.
  6. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    I am 17. My friends really don't care and whether anyone knows that I cut or not, they all think I am a freak anyway. I am horrible at making friends and there is almost no way I will ever have a wife, so there is nothing to worry about there.
  7. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the responses.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    xistence, you shouldn't feel ashamed of yourself! lots of guys self harm, i hope you are getting the help you need with SI from professionals though :hug:
  9. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    Not yet... I have an appointment with a counselor on the 18th. I'm just trying to make it until then.
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    thats great, only a week and a half lol! I really wish you all the best hun :hug:
  11. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    thank you
  12. angeliamarie12

    angeliamarie12 Active Member

    TO be honest professionals most the time cant help ethier... I have been thru this... and I know that I would never be able to trust professionals.... I was going to college to become one.... and I realized how much I hated them and most of the people that i was going to college with were just doing it for the money..... so be careful with what u tell them and most of them are in it for the money... sometimes the reason u suffer from depression and or cutting is the enviroment that u are in.......

  13. angeliamarie12

    angeliamarie12 Active Member

    Well what I am saying is your may have kids and they do wanna know when u cut.... but the thing is do u honestly know what they are thinking cause i bet 100% that there is stuff that they are thinking that u dont understand... and to be honest I dont think it is something they should see and or know.... because its going to make them build up inside and start doing it thereselfs...... Be a better parent.... be strong.... show them right not wrong..... Not say that u are not a good parent now... but I think it needs work..... and what i ment about the ?s is most the time when u are out looking for someone most the time if they know u are doing it they dont wanna get into a realtionship with something like that..... Some people do.... Just saying I dont wanna have kids and them asking me about the marks on my arm..... and the reason for that is 1. I want my kids to have a better life then I....2. I dont wanna bring my husband into my problems and him finding out and I scareing him away..... So idk mabey its diffrent.... I wouldent want my kids to know anything about it and or see it........ Think possitive for ur kids...... Not teach them new things.......
  14. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    in my experience what i can tell is
    1. you will have friends...but those how really care about you
    2. you can have a marriage, i moved in with my bf two months ago, after 4 years and a half of relationship.
    3. kids will ask and you won´t want to tell them for various reasons: shame and the guilt you will have if they do it too.
    4. counseling: well, it didn´t help me as i thought it would, but that´s just me.
    5. the best you can do is to stop for yourself and not for what the people will say. because after a while that won´t care anymore. i´ve been doing it for 5 years and i really don´t care if people sees or not my scars, i just ignore if they are watching at them. if someone ask, i don´t give any explanations because it´s my bussines. I feel like a monster but its my relief and only mine.. after a while you won´t be able to stop and i´m serious, and i hope you acn find another way to realease your anger, or whatever you feel when you are about to do it. take care:)
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